Postcards from Phoenix: When Church Divides a Family

This is the second Postcard from Phoenix and it comes from former The Trinity Church worship staff member Luke Chase. Young Mr. Chase describes a difficult situation where he felt he had to choose between loyalty to his family and loyalty to The Trinity Church.

When a child is torn between loyalty to a pastor and loyalty to parents, the psychological dissonance is incredibly intense and disruptive. The pastor claims to speak for God, while your parents are, of course, your only parents. It is simply wrong for a pastor to usurp these relationships. If anything, church should attempt to build and rebuild family relationships.  It should be noted that Luke’s brother Landon is married to Mark Driscoll’s daughter, Ashley.

The other disturbing feature of Luke’s postcard is his description of how he felt he had to demonstrate loyalty to the church over his friends. He said his associations and friendships were monitored with angry confrontations from leaders when he associated with non-approved people. This is quite troubling and something that I am hearing from others at The Trinity Church. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear this in another postcard or two.

 

Dear Warren:

I recently learned the reason why my family no longer attends The Trinity Church. As you now know, The Trinity Church is, until just recently, where I worked as a worship assistant, and acted as the interim worship director, and where my brother Landon is a pastor. My parents did not tell me the reasons they stopped attending in order to allow me to stay at the church so I could, as they said, “walk in my gifting.”

I had no idea why they stopped coming to church with us about 18 months ago. If something had happened they surely would have told me, right? I mean they never talked about the church, and for the most part I stopped talking to them about my work life. At the same time they went silent, I did too. I couldn’t tell them they had been deemed as “toxic” by the leadership, could I? Also, my 50+ hours work weeks resulted in us not having real conversations for far too long.

While I learned a lot and did have some buffer of protection from Pastor Dustin Blatnik who was my mentor and I consider to be a friend, my time on staff had its challenges. This problem was amplified once Pastor Dustin was let go and I was discouraged by the other pastors from continuing to associate with him.

The church leaders dictated who I was allowed to be friends with. There were some employees I was allowed to spend time with outside of work, probably because of their trust rating. Other employees I was told would be fired soon, and that if I were to hang out with them I might also be fired. Ironically a friend who respected my decision when I ultimately decided to resign and allowed me time to process on my schedule paid a price for being seen with me. He was seen hanging out with me the next week, and he was promptly fired and told that he was not a good fit.

On several occasions I was pulled into private rooms for disciplinary conversations. The infractions ranged from parking in the wrong lot to not being active with other workers when I had more important tasks to do. My supervisors Tyler Johnson, Galen Balenski, and even the campus Pastor Brandon Anderson resorted to cursing and intimidating me. Surprisingly enough, those motivational talks didn’t earn my trust or motivate me to please them more.

During my parent’s absence I had to listen to staff repeatedly tell me that my mom and dad were toxic. It struck me as odd since this is what is said of the other in-laws of the Driscoll kids and even of Pastor Brandon Anderson’s in-laws. In fact, their continued presence in my life was viewed as such a threat to my development as a REAL MAN that I was offered a pay raise simply for moving out of that “toxic” environment by Pastor Eden, Pastor Landon, and John Welnick. It was even implied that if I didn’t move out soon enough I could be fired. As a result I had to pretend like I agreed in order to save my job but in reality I would just day dream about getting out of the church.

An important note here is that my parents adopted me at 9 months old and have loved, parented and invested in me well to this day. They have led large growing integrity filled ministries in Seattle and Arizona for more than 15 years and clearly are not toxic people – I mean google their names and you will not find a bunch of dead bodies behind their bus! They love their kids and were willing to suffer in order to avoid causing any further division between them.

When I finally did ask them what happened I was angered to learn that Pastor Mark Driscoll yelled at and wounded my mom emotionally. My dad had tried to restore the relationship, but Pastor Mark did not feel like he had done anything wrong. It was after this incident that they were declared toxic in an attempt to explain why the church was no longer in fellowship with them.

That is when I resigned. When it became clear that the abuse I had experienced wasn’t an isolated thing that was normal in the workplace, but a pattern of behavior that I keep discovering goes far beyond what I first knew. While I love my brother and am sorry that I don’t get to see him as much now that we are not working together, I just couldn’t continue to work for an organization that required its employees to live in fear of being fired and was actively speaking poorly of my parents.

With sadness from Phoenix,

Luke Chase

 

Read all of the Postcards from Phoenix

For more on The Trinity Church, click here

For a summary of recent controversies surrounding The Trinity Church, click here

The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Church: The Podcast

Mike Cosper and Christianity Today are launching a timely podcast series titled “The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.

Here is the teaser:


I look forward to hearing what Mike has put together. I was interviewed for the series and I know others who provided insight to it. Mike also has first hand experience at the church. This series comes at a time when Mark Driscoll and his current church in Phoenix is in the news. Some of the same issues are being raised by former staff and members of The Trinity Church as were raised during 2007-2014 by Mars Hill Church members and staff.

Although not a podcast, a companion series in real time is my Postcards from Phoenix series underway on the blog.

I urge you to subscribe to the podcast and listen along.

This second teaser came out June 7.

Postcards from Phoenix: Who Suggested The Trinity Church Hire a Private Investigator?

Since I first wrote about Mark Driscoll’s “elderless church,” former staff and members from the Phoenix church have emailed and called with stories of their experiences there. Some tales have been told elsewhere, but others have not. Some feel like news stories and others feel like laments from old friends I have never met in person. I hear echoes of Seattle via the Southwest. Pain and confusion sounds the same whether it is from Seattle or Scottsdale.

I have decided to bring you some of these stories in a Postcards from Phoenix series. Some will be lengthy, some quite short. Some will be signed and some anonymous. All will involve experiences good, bad, and ugly with The Trinity Church.

The first one is complex in that it was triggered by a report from an anonymous witness to a recent spirited conversation between Grace Driscoll and another woman after women’s Bible study group. The argument was centered around a woman leaving the church amidst the current upheaval and controversies at The Trinity Church.

As a part of the argument, Grace Driscoll reportedly alleged that former director of security Chad Freese hired the private investigator who surveilled the Manuele family (see here and here for details). The implication was that the church shouldn’t be held responsible for this since Freese did it. This caught my attention for a couple of reasons. One, it demonstrates that recent news reporting is being followed widely in the church. Two, I wondered if there was any truth to the allegation that Chad Freese both instigated the hiring of the PI and then later complained about it.

And so, the first postcard comes from Chad Freese with receipts.

Dear Warren:

I would love to take a moment to provide some clarity on this situation. I am also hearing reports that members of the staff are trying to blame me for their reprehensible behavior. I find it laughable that anyone believes that a volunteer could wield so much power and authority when it is so clear that the staff walks on eggshells. However, I still feel inclined to set the record straight.

On March 27th, Pastor Mark’s Executive Assistant, John Welnick, relayed Pastor Mark’s “commanders intent” to return Angelo’s bark with a roar. Notice in the text exchange he says we were to give a “Disproportionate response” to Angelo. At least he said to be nice to the women and children.

On March 29th, Pastor Brandon asked for a private investigator and wanted as much info on Angelo as possible. Note my response at the bottom, I wanted input on how Pastors Mark and Brandon wanted me to proceed.

Keep in mind, my role as a volunteer was to provide recommendations, but they make the decisions. In fact, Pastor Mark has made it clear on many occasions that he is in charge and what he says goes.

On April 1st, the threat level was raised per information that Pastor Landon Chase was sharing with the team. Based on this new information I recommended to have the private investigator that had been previously suggested by Pastor Brandon Anderson follow Angelo due to false reports saying Angelo was going to attack the church. All of this turned out to be untrue, which sadly was a pattern. Later that night Brandon wanted professional eyes on Angelo and made a point to state how we “Can’t predict crazy.”

I have had people question why I was supporting the church in its defense and stance against Angelo as these events unfolded since now it appears I am supporting Angelo. I want to be clear that I was not picking sides in popularity contest; I just want the truth to be shared.

I was never close with Angelo, nor did I know him well. We sat at a table together at Real Men’s [men’s ministry] a few times, but that was the extent of our relationship. I owed it to the church to do my job as the volunteer director and provide the best support and advice I could based on limited information I was given. Nonetheless, I take full responsibility for my participation. I have offered my apologies to those I have wronged and asked for forgiveness. I have also repented to God for my complicity in this matter. While I had hoped that the staff would do the same, it has become apparent that we have different convictions.

The facts remain the same. The church did hire a company to track the Manuelle family and it was initially suggested as an option by Pastor Anderson. Ultimately, I resigned for a lot more reasons than just the Manuele situation. In fact, that is small in comparison to the rest. Those details will come later.

From sunny Phoenix,

Chad

 

Would You Pay $50 to Get Man Lessons from Mark Driscoll?

Live near Mason, Ohio?  Attend the Men’s Conference in June at Rivers Crossing Church and you too can get man lessons from Mark Driscoll.

Rivers Crossing is hosting a Men’s Conference featuring Pastor Mark Driscoll, Rivers Crossing Worship, and more!

About this event

There is a desire in all men to be better and do more, but an extraordinary life isn’t found sitting on the sidelines. Men, it’s time to step up and become the man God designed you to be. Hang out with us on Saturday June 12th at Men’s Conference for a day of spiritual renewal, motivating messages from Mark Driscoll and yes, some manly fun. Lunch and dinner are provided with your ticket purchase.

If recent events are any indication, better men who do more will learn how to surveil their enemies and monitor them on social media. Discover the secret to creating a sanctified enemies list. If it is time for you to step up and become the man God designed you to be, you may learn how to live without accountability in your life. If you are a pastor, come and find out how to create a church without elders and remove people from your church without due process.  For $50, maybe you pastors can find out how to get your congregation not to care where their contributions are being spent.

If you aren’t a pastor, maybe you can find out how to get a higher score on your pastor’s Spectrum of Trust!

Being a man means never having to say your sorry. Listening to counsel placed by God in your life is so weak.  When things get hard, just quit. Man, you will learn so much at this conference!

I bet Driscoll will share the secret of his 30 year old Bible version which was published in 2001. This time travel trick could be worth the price of admission.

If you have any questions or comments about these Man Lessons, you can contact the church pastor, Paul Taylor, at his email. He might be able to explain why you should pay $50 to get those lessons from Rev. Driscoll.

 

You Might Be In a Cult If…

With the escalation of control over members at The Trinity Church, the c-word is being thrown around by people who have left the church. When I think of mind control groups, I think of Steve Hassan who has made a career of studying them. Hassan’s BITE model is widely used and provides a helpful framework for evaluating the level of control an organization or leader has over an individual’s life. In this video, the model is described with lots of questions for the viewer to consider.

The BITE model invites people to consider the level of behavior, information, thought and emotional control which they experience in a group. Churches can have fine doctrine but exercise unbiblical levels of control over members. I can understand the concerns of former Trinity Church members when they describe efforts on the part of Driscoll and the pastors there to control their actions, the information they receive, their opinions and thoughts, and their feelings and loyalties toward others.

Using the term cult is of course a pejorative but might also wake someone up to harmful levels of control exercised by another person or group. True believers are often defensive about this. I invite readers and those who are venturing in from the Phoenix to listen to this video with an open mind.

Oh, and what is your Spectrum of Trust number?