You might be from Porchmuth if…


Sometimes reader and commenter Jim Burroway tells me he is also from the fair city of Portsmouth, Ohio. A great place to be from, eh Jim?

Got me all nostalgic so I thought up these tests to see if you might be from Portsmouth.

1. When people ask you where you’re from, you say, “Porchmuth, Ahia.”

2. You know where the Stadium is.

3. You know where the Shoelace Capital of the World is: Porchmuth, Ahia.

4. You can identify yourself as a “river rat” or a “hilltopper.”

5. You know what a “double-dip” and a “pickle-dip” hamburger is (hint: grease is involved).

6. Your car or truck probably costs as much or more than your house is worth.

7. You have gone sled riding on a levee.

8. You know at least three “Kentuckyen jokes.”

9. You know who Al Oliver, Larry Hisle and Don Gullett are.

10. You know where Southern hospitality begins.

Jim and anyone else from Porchmuth: Feel free to add some of yer own on. (Note: Previous sentence ends in a preposition. If you’re from Porchmuth, you don’t see any problem with the place that preposition is at.)

9 thoughts on “You might be from Porchmuth if…”

  2. I remember the blue cloud, and was a kid that got to play on the little wierd horn shaped figures at the Esplanade. Remember the waterfall there??? It had lighting too. Mini-hamburgers are the best in the world, as is barbq… I hang my head in North Carolina now…Cuz I make more money here…Otherwise…

  3. My answers to the quiz..

    1. With a sigh, it’s on the river, have you heard of it?

    2. That is where you learn to drive.

    3. Mitchellace…whatever.

    4. In-town, or Indian Hills…

    5. Hickies and Hamburger Inn, pick your heart-attack…I get 2 doubles to save money.

    6. Can’t afford either.

    7. On cardboard we found from other people. Best during fireworks…

    8. We taught them kentuckians how to make ice right???

    9. Met Al’s brother at Ramada Inn.

    10. If the floodwall says so…

    Did I pass yer test…

    You know u left town and come back for christmas and Portsmouth High school looks like a war-zone hit it…lol…

  4. Here are a few more of Porchmuth’s finer establishments–many of which are no more…Little Nicks–gone; K&M–gone; Mortons–gone; Jim Dandy–gone (thank God!!). We do, however, still have Hamburger Inn and Hickies where they change their grease the same way you change the oil in your car–3000 miles or 3000 burgers…no wonder we call them sliders! Also, we still have Flood Wall Tech and the murals (Porchmuth’s finest attraction). In the gone-but-not-forgotten category, ask your friend if he remembers “The Blue Cloud”. (Not one of our finer moments) Our best?? No doubt in my mind (you know this is going to be about food)…The Second Street Dairy Bar–Best footers in the World!! Ah, Porchmuth! “Where southern hospitality begins” (Why do I here the theme song from Deliverance playing in my head?) Talk to ya later,…John

  5. Nope, you didn’t do anything bad to me.

    And since your parents weren’t deadbeats, they were on my “good” list. I think they might have even tipped me for Christmas.

    Yep, too wierd. I think my BF is starting to feak just a little.

  6. That is just too weird. I didn’t do anything bad to you did I? I had a paper route too and there were lots of deadbeats on my route. Yep, we lived on 6th street, stone’s throw from Woodrow Wilson Elementary School, home of the Herdmans – did I spell that right. I am sure I knew that family…

  7. Another one…

    You might be from “Porchmuth” if…

    14. Someone named Warren Throckmorton posted a list, and after you thought about it for a while you started to wonder, “Is he from the same Throckmorton family who was on my paper route on near Wilson School?”

    Or is the world not quite that small?

  8. Man, I can relate to the Crispy Creme thing. I used get them when they were just out of the oven. I knew the family that ran that place pretty well, the Renisons. The secret was potatoes…

  9. Yes, a great place to be from. Hers’s a few more quick ones during my lunch break:

    11. You don’t think Zeke Mullins speaks with an accent.

    12. You know Roy Roger’s real name (Leonard Sly, because he’s from “Porchmuth”)

    13. You’re still upset that the REALLY original, one-and-only Crispy-Creme was forced to change its name by the evil empire whose “donuts” are not worthy of the name.

    I’m sure I’ll think of more as the day goes on. 🙂

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