Ted Haggard emails his former flock

Not sure how you get three years of analysis in three weeks, but here is a little insight into Mr. Haggard’s rehab. Further, the overseers reveal in a Denver Post article that he now believes he is “completely heterosexual.” There’s your long term therapy, your brief therapy and now, your microwavable therapy. I guess the commercials are sometimes true: Life comes at you fast.

Music video of the week: Mike & the Mechanics – The Living Years

“I wasn’t there that morning when my father passed away.” For me, this is the most haunting line in a song of haunting images. Also for me, the words are true. I was about 10 hours away when my dad’s heart stopped without warning. He was getting some clothes together for my mother who was in a hospital two hours away preparing for her first chemotherapy treatment. Her cancer was likewise sudden and she was getting her treatment as an inpatient since it was to be quite taxing. He went to the emergency room with chest pains and did not make it all the way in the door. One of my friends from high school was a nurse on duty and called to tell me what had happened. I then had to call my mother to explain to her that she could not start her treatment. She needed to attend a funeral instead.

This song brings all of that back to me and more. The pain, ambivalence, and eventual resolution of that season 25 years ago center me in a way that few other experiences ever have. Staying in theme, I’d like to believe my children are the better for it. May whatever feelings this art brings up in you work toward better focus on what you are here to do.

Donnies Davies Update

This morning, SOVO covers the ongoing antics of Donnie Davies.

In related news, Donnie Davies has a sweet, new retro look about his websites today. I have exchanged several YouTube grams with Donnie and he continues to insist he is not the “twin” of Mr. Oglesby. In our 1/29/07, unverified WTF report on this blog, we reported the possibility that Mr. Davies and Mr. Oglesby are really twins separated at birth.

In those YouTube grams, Mr. Davies has some interesting things to say about the recent episode and has asked me some interesting questions. I hope to get a statement from him soon.

This from the Love God’s Way website with the “hot new look.”

The Exciting New Look of Love God’s Way

Friends, corporate called me and was concerned about our image. They Blessed our humble Ministry with this hot new look. We hope you will explore. All the attention and new followers has corporate very, very excited. Stay tuned. We have a lot of hot stuff coming down the pipe, including the new Evening Service music video, the C.H.O.P.S. program and a exciting new therapeutic cartoon series.

Corporate? Therapeutic cartoon series? I think I’ll stop now.

UPDATE – 2/3/07 – Joey Oglesby has updated his Myspace blog with this message:

Joey on Donnie Davies

I , joey oglesby, have recently been identified as the fundamentalist preacher and songwriter Donnie Davies. I am very aware of the uncanny similarities in our appearance, including a very unfortunate chicken pox scar in between my eyes. Also, while we are both big fans of lists, his deals with gay bands while mine is a comprehensive list of ladders. However, that is where the similarities end. For instance, my Mom will tell you that I am much skinnier and more handsome than him. Also he can dunk a basketball, where as, I cannot. Although, in interest of full disclosure and to prevent further confusion, I can touch the rim and have a wicked sweet jump shot.

Most importantly though, our messages are vastly different. Donnie’s message seems to be one of hate and intolerance, where as mine, is of love and acceptance. Ultimately, it is my opinion that the message Donnie Davies conveys and the prejudice inherent in it do indeed exist in this world. Although i disagree personally with Pastor Davies, it seems his video has sparked some much needed dialogue. And for that i am grateful. But, it is ultimately the difference in our messages that makes me, Joey Oglesby, and him Donnie Davies, two very different people.

Joey Oglesby

[email protected]

So is this a way of saying: I am not a hater, but I play one on TV?

I guess this WTF exclusive must now be retracted…

UPDATE: 2/7/07 – A new message on the Evening Service website begins to signal where the Donnie Davies saga is heading. God hates everyone…

More on sexual identity therapy and values

Emails are running mostly positive regarding the sexual identity therapy paradigm. Used by permission, here is a reaction to the column, A Valued Life:

Good morning Dr. Throckmorton:

As a 63 year old man who has struggled with same sex sexual attractions for as long as I can remember, I found the subject of the article [A Valued Life] refreshing and insightful. Like Jim, my family background fits the stereotypical view concerning bonding with the same sex parent. My father was emotionally distant as well as being verbally and physically abusive with strong opinions on what it means to be a man. No matter how hard I tried, I could not live up to his preconceived image and eventually gave up trying to change myself to conform to that image. Also like Jim, I fervently prayed that God would “snap His fingers” and “make me normal”. However, unlike Jim when God did not respond with affirmative action, I rejected my religion for over 20 years by fully accepting my gay orientation as innate, immutable, and probably genetic.

Without going into details at age 40, I became disillusioned with gay life and again turned to God to change me and again did not get the desired response. Like Jim, I sought help from the institutional church and ex-gay ministries with disastrous results. The institutional church is not equipped to deal with those dealing with same sex sexual attractions and most ex-gay ministries promote a “cure” without calling change a “cure”. Unlike Jim I never sought professional help. I had several friends who were psychiatrists or psychologists and all of them took one of two positions. One is that it is impossible to change your orientation therefore just accept it. This position is in direct opposition to my faith. The other position was that change is not only possible but mandatory to live a life acceptable to God. This position is Pollyannaish and denies the reality of dealing with SSA on a personal level. I do not know of any mental health professional who expects straight men to live “perfect” lives just as I do not know of any institutional church that denies straight men “covet” women other than their wives. Although I do know a couple of ex-gays who have lost all attraction to other men the vast majority still deal with the attractions on some level.

Long story short, I came to understand what Paul meant when God‘s response to his thorn in the flesh was: “My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness.” “Going straight” is only a dream for most who deal with SSA, but living a valued life is an obtainable goal. Over the last 23+ years my attractions to men have diminished and I am no longer obsessed by the desire to be with another man. And to my surprise I now find women attractive but have no desire to complicate my life with marriage. Celibacy is not only attainable but can contribute to a valued life that is free from sexual tension (most of the time). For some of us who struggle God’s answer is celibacy, which frees us up to concentrate on exercising our talents in areas of life that can and do replace sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy as an aim is underrated by the institutional church and seems to be totally ignored by the gay lobby. A hug from a true friend of the same sex is more powerful than those who are sexually active will ever understand. Our society has equated love with sex, God equates love with actions that benefit our fellow man. It takes time and effort to transition from “eros” to “agapao”, however the transition is worth the peace of mind.

Sincerely: (Name removed by request of the author)