parody – Warren Throckmorton

Donald Trump Shall Become the Trumpet: My Entry for Best Article in the "Wait, This Isn't Parody?" Category

If I was of a mind to write a parody of a Charismatic minister writing about Donald Trump, an article like this would have been a good result.
Writing for Charisma Magazine’s Prophetic Insight section, “prophetic minister” Jeremiah Johnson compared Donald Trump to Cyrus in the Bible. Referring to Trump or someone like him, Johnson says:

Could God not use the wicked and ungodly to bring about His plans and purposes thousands of years ago and can He not still do the same thing again, especially in the midst of the crisis that we find America in today?

Then Johnson writes that the Holy Spirit told him Trump would become…. (wait for it)…. His “trumpet to the American people.” According to Johnson, the Holy Spirit sounds a lot like a Trump spokesman:

Trump shall become My trumpet to the American people, for he possesses qualities that are even hard to find in My people these days. Trump does not fear man nor will he allow deception and lies to go unnoticed. I am going to use him to expose darkness and perversion in America like never before, but you must understand that he is like a bull in a china closet. Many will want to throw him away because he will disturb their sense of peace and tranquility, but you must listen through the bantering to discover the truth that I will speak through him. I will use the wealth that I have given him to expose and launch investigations searching for the truth. Just as I raised up Cyrus to fulfill My purposes and plans, so have I raised up Trump to fulfill my purposes and plans prior to the 2016 election. You must listen to the trumpet very closely for he will sound the alarm and many will be blessed because of his compassion and mercy. Though many see the outward pride and arrogance, I have given him the tender heart of a father that wants to lend a helping hand to the poor and the needy, to the foreigner and the stranger.

In a strange way, Trump isn’t allowing deception and lies to go unnoticed. Just look at his attack on John McCain. Trump deceived all over the place and didn’t let it go unnoticed.
I think the next prophecy should be about President Business from the LEGO movie. He has all those tough guy qualities too.
Hat tip to Alan Noble.

Celebrity Shocker: Matt Damon to run for President in 2012

Damon
Hollywood, CA (TSN) – In a surprise move, Matt Damon declared his intention to run for President in 2012. Damon, who announced his bid on Youtube, cited Sarah Palin as an inspiration.
“Look, it just makes sense. If Sarah Palin can run for Vice-President, which is like a really bad Disney movie, then why not me running for President? Crap, I’ve actually made some really bad movies, so I’m even more qualified than she is.”
Damon, who is an Obama supporter, said he would only run in 2012 if Obama fails in his bid this time around. Damon explained, “I think I could take him, but Obama is the most qualified in this race to hold the nuclear codes since he doesn’t know when life begins but he probably knows when dinosaurs were on earth. You know, Palin thinks dinosaurs were on earth, like 4,000 years ago. I wouldn’t trust anyone with nuclear codes who thinks that.”
Damon, who has criticized Sarah Palin as being just a hockey mom, said he is infinitely more qualified to stand up to world leaders, like Russia’s Vladimir Putin.
“Hey, I took Sarah Silverman away from Jimmie Kimmel so I figure I can stand up to Putin.”
Damon is willing to use his own resources to fund his campaign, saying, “I would have paid like a million dollars to get Kerry elected in ’04, so who knows how much I’ll spend on myself.”
In an unconventional move, Damon says Arianna Huffington would be on his Veep short list.
On the web: Matt Damon speaks out about Sarah Palin

The return of Donnie Davies

Can he recapture the magic?
Donnie Davies has been in a quiet season but is back with a new video and he says a whole new album is ready for release.

Donnie Davies – Take My Hand from Donnie Davies on Vimeo.
Donnie broke on the scene back in January of 2007 and had lots of attention with his The Bible Says video and CHOPS programs.
In this season of Obama and Palin, Donnie has a lot to overcome to get on many radar screens. But he has got a new Myspace page (the real Donnie) and seems ready for another stab at the limelight. Who knows maybe Donnie will run for president before this is over.