It is better for everybody if gays marry gays and straights marry straights.

It can be a problem though if the straights who marry straights are of the same sex.

I suppose our marriage is what is called in Computer Science a “boundary case”. Something out of the ordinary that tests the limits.

We would both like to change our sexual orientation so we’d be attracted to each other, but on the other hand, it’s not that big a deal. Celibacy isn’t a burden to either of us.

Would I like to be taken in the arms of a big, hunky guy who’d ravish me? Yes. (I go for the footballer type rather than the adonis).

Except he wouldn’t be the person I’m in love with – she’s female, and I’m sorry but second-place won’t do. It’s her or no-one. Since we’re both straight, that means no-one.

By an amazing and unlikely set of circumstances, we were able to have a child together. That, and love, to us is far more important than sex. Though it would be nice to have that too, it’s the least of the three.

It’s our 31st anniversary soon – 7 years after the change.

Teresa, yes there was a time when I thought of myself as having undergone a complete change of orientation. I don’t know if I would have used the word “cured,” simply because I didn’t think of it in a medicalized way. I never had therapy or anything, I just fell in love with someone of the opposite sex. My first work on homosexuality (a series of articles for the National Catholic Register) was basically an orientation change testimonial, and actually quoted NARTH tropes as though they were established fact. I was naive, I found something that looked like science and that supported my moral and political beliefs, so I assumed that it was true. I’ve been trying to be more careful about that ever since.

I’m currently working on a presentation on Mixed Orientation Marriages, so that’s probably going to be a topic of discussion on my blog over the next couple of months. There’s really too much to say for a com-box 🙂

The Internet has been a game changer, now you can communicate with others with similar interests and if you wish, do so anonymously. I do think anonymity can lead to more honesty. OTOH, it is the perfect medium for frauds and charletons with agendas.

If Michael Bussee stops by he can explain it better. I think if you never were straight you can lead yourself to believe, “this must be what it is like, so I guess I am straight then” Only my guess as I can not directly relate, I am dependent on others explaining it to me.

Glad you joined the conversation here. As SGM has pointed out, you may want to take a look at Straight Spouse Network.

Although the stories on there often involve not knowing one of the spouses is gay until later in marriage, there’s still a lot of other helpful information on that site.

Being a straight grandmother who has been married for close to 40 years is a nice position to be in – congratulations.

Ok, so the knowledge you have regarding the many variances and dimensions of same sex attractions/orientation comes from different blogs that offer different opinions, thoughts, hypothesis, etc., and from those varying comments, you have formed your personal opinion – is that right?