Shawn – Shifts along a bisexual continuum are not insignificant, nor are they worthless. I don’t know why you would think that given everything else I have written here.
See again this article for an example of how this can go within the congruence paradigm. Pursuing relational and spiritual goals could clearly bring about changes of various sorts. However, it infrequently leads to changes in attraction that could be labeled categorical.
When you bring in behaviors, you are overgeneralizing what I and others are saying. No one said SSA people cannot alter their actions.

We have it in mind to explore a third voice regarding ministry with the gay community:
Neither a voice of condemnation
Nor a voice of permissiveness;

I commented on his article and asked that he define

Nor a voice of permissiveness

As we all understand what a voice of condemnation is, what is this “permissiveness” he is referencing.
I also suggested that he buy John Shore’s new book “Pigs with Wings” which was a collection of letters written to John Shore from sexual minorities and their torment with religion. And then John Shore intersperses the letters with his religious beliefs. I suggested to John Smid that he buy the $10 Kindle Book (Kindle has a free app to read Kindle Books on your computer) because it looked to me like John Shore is already reaching Smid’s target demographic, look at all the letters he got.
There was nothing attacking in my comment at all, only asking for clarification on what “Permissive” is and my recommendation of a book I thought would help John Smid. Guess what? He pulled my comment. Okay okay we all need to keep a very close eye now on John Smid, because if my comment was pulled, and it was, something is not kosher here. He is starting to remind me of that Richard [cha-ching] Cohen guy
/category/ihf/
http://www.gracerivers.com/around-the-world/#comments

Thereafter follow a lot of hypothetical reasons and a quotation from the APA. Both imply that there are no legitime reasons why homosexual men would aspire to be aroused by the opposite gender.

Makes me wonder if there are heterosexual men who would aspire to being aroused by the same sex?

But that’s nonsense. In fact, as the Straight Grandmother showed, gay men may – as well as impotent straight men – wish to maintain or improve a marriage.

Are you talking about same-sex or opposite-sex marriages here?

However, Shawn, you know this issue is very personal, and very sensitive. No one has said your choice is wrong, for you. The caveat is the seeming ‘implication’ in your ‘ministry’ that everyone will be able to attain what you have. Everyone who develops a relationship with God, will be transformed and ‘changed’ like you, and be able to accomplish what you have.
Isn’t that what you were saying? Isn’t that what your life story, and ministry is all about? If not, if what I’ve just stated is not what you meant, and you care to comment further; please, please disabuse us of our wrong notions.

I encourage you to check out a piece I wrote about change on my blog: http://six11.wordpress.com/youth-workers/glbt/the-change-question/.
Even on this post, I have never said that the end result for every gay person is to have a story like mine. Change happens in different ways for different people. My whole goal in ministry is to help people reconnect with their Father God; to help them see themselves as He sees them – His child. That’s it. This is my goal for Six:11, this is my goal for the students I pastor, this is my goal for my family and this is my personal goal.
And, I’m sorry, but when you say “No one has said your choice is wrong, for you” … many of you have said that. My marriage is sham … my testimony is a sham … it’s a matter of time before I’m divorced … I should have never married my wife … look at the harm I’ve brought on to my wife and kids, cause statistically, my marriage won’t last much longer … etc. Really? My marriage and my life are being matched up to a bunch of numbers? You all know me that well to make such predications?
Yes, this is a personal and touchy issue. I just thought if you gave compassion to others, it would be returned to you in the same manner.

The truth is of that of the third that attempt to stay together after disclosure that one of them is gay/lesbian, only about half remain intact for three or more years. AND look at the statistics of the half of a third, 44% go out and have same sex extramarital affairs. In the area of sexual fidelity, sexual minority spouses reported a higher than average number of extramarital relationships (44.2% indicating an extra- marital relationship), whereas national averages are at about 10% of women and under 25% of men (Laumann et al., 1994).

Same Sex Sexual Fantasies during intercourse, does the spouse know?
93 sexual minorities responded
60 (64.5%) No
33 (35.5%) Yes
I am not saying it never works, but I do know that I would not want one of my heterosexual children to marry a sexual minority, the odds are stacked against them. Marriage is hard enough without having a core part of marriage, sexual relations, be a problem right from the get go. Sex should be fun, not a chore to be slogged through. Why not encourage people to marry (and legally permit it) persons who they are naturally sexually compatible with? I do think discouragement of Mixed Orientation Marriages is the way to go, because of the harm to the heterosexual spouse. Knowing these statistics how can you condone therapy that has as it’s goal a coupling in a Mixed orientation Marriage? It is not one person who is harmed it is the innocent straight spouse AND the sexual minority. And we know, we know for a fact that 80% of the sexual minorities are NOT going to do the right thing and disclose to their spouse before marriage their true sexual orientation? Why should 80% of straight spouses have to go through this?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, after we become informed. My opinion is, the risk is to great to even start any therapy to put sexual minorities on this path to mixed orientation marriage. Let them be happy in their true nature and marry a person who they are sexually attracted to. Everyone is better off, everyone. There is no harm here to anyone in my solution. Isn’t that the first rule of medicine after all, “Do no harm.”
http://christianpsych.org/wp_scp/wp-content/uploads/edification_4_2.pdf

the married couple in Germany who were barren until someone informed them about intercourse

After a bit I was thinking more like you, well what if people really don’t want to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or intersex, shouldn’t there be help for them to be straight heterosexual? I have come to the conclusion, no, there should not be. Because the goal of that is to couple with a person of your opposite sex, therefore you are involving a second innocent party into “your” therapy.

The few successes are not worth the horrible failures. To open your eyes go read a website called the Straight Spouse Network. Read the open forum over there.

Another good point, SG. However, I would temper what you’ve said with the thought there are some of these marriages that do work. It takes honesty from the get-go on the part of the homosexual. No deception can exist to make this married journey successful. Honesty on the part of the homosexual to know this journey can only be taken with “to thine own self be true”. Honesty on the part of the str8 person to know what they may be getting into. The gay person may love their partner; but, that love may be in an entirely different way than the str8 spouse is expecting.
Couples’ therapy before marriage would be most helpful, I think. I do think it’s do-able; but, here again, the stats are not real comforting for the success of this choice. A deep faith commitment for both partners, in my opinion, is absolutely necessary, coupled with honesty.
But, that seems to be what it takes for str8 marriages, no?