Neither do I. I do think there is something very wrong in projecting a set of beliefs that might apply to some, onto everyone. You believe something, therefore it must apply to everyone. Should someone not fit the mold you’ve already made up your mind about, you want to diminish it, therefore confirming your bias. I’m not sure what benefit is derived from that.

Maybe you are right Ann. Statistically MOM, Mixed Orientation Marriages, are not very often successful, and the person who is harmed the most, is the heterosexual spouse. So I guess I am going by the statistics, not some made up bias on my part. Is that confirmation bias? I am very uneasy about medical or therapeutic efforts when those efforts can harm another person, a second person, not the person who is asking for help. I know I am not saying it right. It seems to me that there is a difference if you want to try some therapy and it just involves yourself. But when you try some therapy and then “try it out to see if it works” on another person, especially an unsuspecting person, that makes me really uneasy. I don’t wish any of them well, I wish them to run for the hills before they have wasted the best years of their life on something that isn’t going to provide them in the long term, a good happy life, for BOTH the sexual minority AND the heterosexual spouse. So far this is what the research shows so that is why I feel this way.
Here is a question, what other medical treatments or therapies does a patient receive that has the potential to harm another person? Maybe you or someone here can think of some, I can’t think of any other one, other than therapy to help a sexual minority lead a heterosexual behaved life.

Statistically MOM, Mixed Orientation Marriages, are not very often successful, and the person who is harmed the most, is the heterosexual spouse. So I guess I am going by the statistics, not some made up bias on my part. Is that confirmation bias?

StraightGrandmother,
How many people in mixed orientation marriages, who are happy with their own definition of happiness or succes regarding their marriage, are going to be posting on the web site you are referring to? Probably few as they are going about living their life as they want to – together, and by their own values and motivations for getting married, they consider their marriage successful. If I am understanding your correctly, you only know about the marriages on the web site, not the other ones. 50% of non-mixed orientation marriages end in divorce – I am sure there are many web sites for those people as well, however, I doubt you will see the other 50% posting there.

Exodus believes the opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality. It is holiness.

What is the opposite of heterosexuality?
What does Exodus mean by ‘homosexuality’? Behavior, or same-gender sexual behavior?

To be free from the constant pull of homosexual desires…
To have deeply fulfilling non-sexual friendships with other men, and to belong to a close community of men…
Perhaps to have a happy marriage, to be a loving father, or else to be contentedly single…
To live a life we feel is aligned with God’s will for us…
Many of us could ask for nothing more.

Several questions from this quote come to mind:
1.) Don’t str8 people fit somewhere in all this?
2.) How many str8 men have deeply fulfilling friendships with other men?
3.) How many str8 people live a life aligned with God’s will for them?
Finally, back to the idea of “the opposite of homosexuality is holiness” … it really miffs me that I’m supposed to be holy … and, str8 persons are what?
Why the difference? Why are gay persons called to ‘be holy’, in a community that most often could care less about us … and, frankly, most don’t think we’re even ‘normal’.
Why’s the bar raised so high for us, and not for str8 persons?

The more you find out about this event, the more remiss NPR seems in failing to mention it. Writer Ted Cox went undercover last year at one of these workshops and detailed his close encounters for Alternet:
“I sat on the floor between the outstretched legs of a camp guide, my head leaning back against his shoulder. The guide sat behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest. This hold was called “The Motorcycle.” Five men surrounded the two of us, their hands resting gently on my arms, legs and chest.”
While in this position, Cox writes that he felt “the unmistakable bulge pressing through [the guide’s] tight jeans.” But erections are just a part of the healing process! As Richard Cohen, the progenitor of cuddle conversion, wrote in his book “Coming Out Straight,” “It is natural for us to feel stimulation when we are intimate with either someone of the same or opposite sex.” He also warns, “Do not become hooked on holding,” because “this technique can be addictive.”

http://www.salon.com/life/sex/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2011/08/01/ex_gay

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being gay, lesbian, bi or transgender. Nor do I think it is sinful.

StraightGrandmother,
Neither do I. I do think there is something very wrong in projecting a set of beliefs that might apply to some, onto everyone. You believe something, therefore it must apply to everyone. Should someone not fit the mold you’ve already made up your mind about, you want to diminish it, therefore confirming your bias. I’m not sure what benefit is derived from that.

If two ex-gay men hug each other in church or sit next to each other too close, what does your church think?

I might think they are falling in love. At least, that’s what happened in my case. 🙂

What We Mean By “Change”
Some skeptics erroneously assume that by change we always mean (or should mean) a 180 degree shift from 100% homosexual to 100% heterosexual in all behaviors, interests, attractions and thoughts, forever after. Anything less than that, some critics argue, isn’t real change. Some look for evidence of “only” a 170 degree shift or “only” a 90 degree shift, and cry “failure!”
The truth is that any degree of change toward greater peace, satisfaction and fulfillment, and less shame, depression and darkness, is change well worth pursuing.
For most people who seek change, heterosexuality is not actually the ultimate goal – happiness and peace are.

And for us, happiness and peace are not contingent on sexuality alone, but on living a life congruent with our deeply held values, beliefs and life goals.
So, unlike those who argue that nothing less than a 180 degree turn “counts” as change, those of us who actually experience change are often quite content with a much subtler shift.
To be free from the constant pull of homosexual desires…
To have deeply fulfilling non-sexual friendships with other men, and to belong to a close community of men…
Perhaps to have a happy marriage, to be a loving father, or else to be contentedly single…
To live a life we feel is aligned with God’s will for us…
Many of us could ask for nothing more.