Sexuality means how we relate to the ‘other’, who that ‘other’ will be, and how all that plays out in … personality, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Teresa,
Ok, I understand this about romantic relationships, however, how does the word sexuality affect other parts of who we are and how we live? Does it enter into how we make pancakes, take out the garbage, what bank we choose, or what groceries we buy? Other than who we pursue in a romantic relationship, how does the word “sexuality” guide our lives? Or does it?

They may see their sexuality .. / identity as part of who they relate to best .. as representative of other apsects of their personalities .. as connected to some of their personal giftings .. and so forth.

Can you describe sexuality and how you mean it in the above sentence? I am specifically asking because it is a very misunderstood word.

I suspect that for these folks .. attempts at oreintation change or identity change ultimately feel harmful to themselves because of how they internally connect everything together.

Doesn’t the mindset of orientation have to be defined first in order to determine whether anything needs to be done about it? If it is clearly understood then perhaps it would be a moot point, or not, and then a decision could be made about how to respond to that which feels incongruent.

In other words if a person sees there sexuality as broken and apart from all other aspects of themselves .. as an undesired blip on the radar .. then perhaps the “change” route works for them.

Ok, are you saying that for some people they see this issue as separate from all other aspects of themselves while others see it is “who they are”? If so, then you have clearly addressed a point what, in my opinion, should be explored and talked about more. The two distinct perspectives are often and inaccurately enmeshed, always leading to contention or a shut down conversation.

However .. if they see this as an integral part of their whole being then, to throw it away or count it as evil affects their view of themselves as a whole … Different peope think and process differently.

This is where, in my opinion, therapy or counseling would be effective. If any aspect of our thoughts are seen as an integral part of our whole being, then I am not sure how good that is for our well being as a whole person. Seems to me that if this is an integral part of my whole being then what happened/happens to the other parts of me? Is my life to be dictated by who I am attracted to? Do I have any say as to how I want to be and live beyond who I am attracted to?

One solution does not fit all persons and circumstances.

I am so glad to see this sentence.

I don’t have a problem with people finding unique soliutions that fit them personally ..I have a problem with the ‘my way or the highway’ approach that Alan and others like him seem to push as an absolute moral imperative. Scripture has no such imperative on how we internally process this.

Yes, and I have a problem with the ‘my way or the highway’ approach that Wayne Besen and others like him who seem to push as an absolute that must be accepted, lest you be villified. I do not see Alan in the same light as you do or having a coercive approach. Perhaps I am biased or just plain wrong – I do not know Alan nor have much knowledge about Exodus, however, everything I have read or seen or heard from him shows me he is a tempered, fair, thoughtful and emotionally disciplined individual. I cannot say that about the gay activists I have interacted with or listened to. As to the moral or scriptural issue, I try very hard not to opine about either as I do not feel qualified to do so. Each person has their own moral code, subject to change over time, and only they can account for themselves and their God someday. By the way, are Jews and Muslims and Hindus welcomed into this discussion that continues to reference only Christians and Christianity?

It’s a big concept to wrap our heads around. Our personality is imbued with our Sexuality. Ann, it’s not just ‘sex’ … it’s ‘relationality’ with the ‘other’.

Do we relate to others out of our sexuality or out of our homosexuality or heterosexuality? Is my personality imbued with sexuality or with homosexuality?

He’s not saying it’s wrong to be celibate; he’s not saying everyone must turn into a married straight hetero…he’s saying it’s wrong to ‘live a celibate gay life’…identifying oneself by a sin while not engaging in the deed itself.

At issue here is what it means to “be gay” or “identify” as gay. I’m sure Mr Chamber’s understanding of this may differ from those of other people. Remember, this is just Alan’s opinion, he doesn’t have any real Biblical basis to back up these claims. I would, and all should, take what this man says with a grain, or two, of salt 😉

In addition, newer research from Christians indicates that “freedom from homosexuality” does not mean freedom from Same Sex Attractions for most. Exodus needs to carry this more and more upfront as the science informs.

Good luck with that. From the very beginning and in the decades since, Exodus has never based its message or methods on sound science. In fact, science was often seen as the “enemy” of faith. I doubt that will ever change. To expect Exodus to be completely honest about what “Freedom From Homosexuality” really means is more than we can reasonably expect. Exodus simply has too much to lose.

“So, yes, repentance for the homosexual person and anyone else
for that matter is repenting of who they are: behaviors, identity and
all. This is why I believe it is important to clarify that just living a
celibate gay life is just as sinful as living a sexually promiscuous
one. The sin is in identifying with anything that is contrary to Christ,
which homosexuality clearly is.”

This quote is from pages 217-218.
If change means “change of behaviors ” then it appears that Mr. Chambers didn’t get the memo on that. The ongoing confusion on this whole business of change and what it means is generated by Exodus .. not by gay activists.
Dave