Matthew Walker: I felt like killing myself as a teen not because of the church, but because of a very real spiritual enemy that was trying to destroy me anyway that he could. His whispers and lies twisted the Bible into a condemnation of me, not of the sin that was overtaking me.

Hmm. Although Walker is ostensibly trying to take personal responsibility while at the same time being generous towards his fellow congregants by blaming himself and not the church, the practical result is that he’s applying “the soft bigotry of low expectations” towards the church and its membership. They’re doing nothing wrong in (Slothfully?) taking for granted that their own pet interpretation of Lev. 18:22 and Rom 1:26-27 happens to be identical with God’s own thinking; it’s Walker who must have been misled.
(Granted, Walker would retort that gay-affirming congregations are the ones applying “the soft bigotry of low expectations” to homosexuals, and that actively-gay people who identify as Christian are the ones guilty of Sloth. As one of our Catholic participants astutely observed, “Dignity thinks Courage is deceived and Courage thinks Dignity is deceived.”)

but it seems so much of these conversations are about words and what they mean

Yep – They sure are.

You can ask all the stand-in Dads to love you
You can bask in diva-Mother hovering ‘bove you
…
You can teach younger ones these games…
You gay your way, and I’ll go mine…
Goodbye — shallow Rainbow Ride.

but most gays and lesbians could not readily be distinguished from anyone else except for the obvious — same-sex spouse, etc.

Yes, David Roberts, this is so true … even though many of us don’t have a same-sex spouse, etc.
Many of us live, walk, work, and do all the things str8 folks do … all quite anonymously as to orientation.

David Roberts:
And honestly, I’m not searching for any etiology, I rather agree with StraightGrandmother on that.

It’s quite amazing, isn’t it, that homosexuals don’t think alike, don’t believe alike, don’t vote alike, don’t act alike, don’t live alike …
So, yes, David, I understand for many homosexuals, there is little to no interest in etiology of the gay. However, I’m about as happy a person, as most people, I think, happy being homosexual; but, I am interested in the genesis of orientation, str8 or gay … and, not so I can ‘fix’ someone.

Whatever the cause, it doesn’t seem to be mutable, which would take away the incentive for most who seem to care.

Well said.

Whatever orientation you have, you better get used to it or, in the extreme, find a way to make peace with it because in all likelihood, it’s here to stay. That’s the main point.

Yup, David, that’s the truth. It’s been the truth through the centuries; and, will continue to be the truth; regardless of labels, terms, faith beliefs, and scientific whatnot.
We could, David, using your sentence quoted above, with a minor modification and it too, would be true, don’t you think?

Whatever orientation others have, you better get used to it or, in the extreme, find a way to make peace with it, because in all likelihood, it’s here to stay.