Please let me clarify. I do not think there is “another side” to bullying. And I am not trying to empower Focus or downplay the harm they have done (and likely will do with DoD).

But I do want to acknowledge that the position of conservative Christians on this matter can be difficult. To really be effective, you have to make compromises that can feel to a culture warrior like acquiescing to sin.

To us, it is of less importance if a kid identifies as gay or not or whether or not he’s same-sex attracted . There is no difference in our message : “You are okay just as you are. It gets better.”

But much of conservative Christianity doesn’t believe that the kid who accepts his attractions and identifies with his orientation (I used a term they would me more likely to use) is okay in doing so. Rather, they believe that he needs to be directed towards a ministry that will help him struggle towards heterosexuality before the ‘homosexual agenda’ scoops him up and carries his soul off to hell.

Obviously I don’t believe in this take on human sexuality any more than I believe in papal infallibility or the Jehovah’s Witnesses mathematics on salvation. But the point is that they do.

So, if you think that it is wrong to “encourage someone in their sin”, i.e. tell them that gay folk are okay, then you have quite a dilemma when confronted with the fact that kids are killing themselves because they feel unaccepted and tormented over being gay.

Some, like Warren and others, have prioritized the emotional well being of the kids, ending tormenting, bullying, and suicide. Countering “gay is okay” takes a backseat to ending cruelty. God’s work is more than just condemning sinners.

Others, like Laurie and Linda, are willing to make child sacrifice to their god. I suspect Focus will do the same.

Where I think this conversation will end up is consistent with my post about what kind of dialogue we will have. On the Day of Silence, GLSEN wants to raise awareness about anti-gay bullying. On the Day of Dialogue, FOF wants to raise awareness about their view of homosexuality. They are two conversations with different aims. There is two sides to the doctrinal issues, but there is no other side to the bullying question. By raising the DoD as the antithesis of the DoS, Focus errs by changing the subject. Hence, they look complicit in bullying. This is a classic mistake made by evangelicals. We often want to defend the faith, failing to see that we defend best by living the faith, rather than talking about it.

Just go to school and volunteer to help in the bully prevention program. Love. Reach out. Be Christ without self-consciously having to defend your view of Him. That worried, scared Junior High kid really doesn’t care what you think of homosexuality. He does care that someone steps in front of a bully and says no.

Giving in to the “gay is always good” is extremely difficult in light of some of the very real and very destructive aspects of homosexual behavior that seem to be so easily ignored by those who have an agenda to push.

This is more of the same sort of rhetoric that we don’t need. There are destructive heterosexuals and there are destructive homosexuals. Lets leave it at that and stop painting “homosexual behavior”, whatever you mean by that, out to be something that is inherently destructive.

That worried, scared Junior High kid really doesn’t care what you think of homosexuality.

Having been that kid, I can tell you that he or she really does care what you think about homosexuality. There is just no way around that.

I am not yet willing to write off the conflict.

I had an experience some time back with a person whom I respect who simply could not find in Scripture any way to revise his theological position on homosexuality. And this was not out of some loyalty to orthodoxy, ideological affiliation, or desire to condemn. His way of understanding God and faith precluded him from shifting his views.

And it tore him up that his affection for me was in direct conflict with what he believed. He felt far more pain over his beliefs than I did. He desperately wanted some way to bring his world into alignment.

Now since that time he’s learned the ability to recognize that the Bible was not written in English in our culture or with our context. And he’s found himself questioning age-old presumptions and “its in the Bible” pronouncements.

But that did not make his pain at the time any less.

So, yes, there are those who will never ever EVER let the minor inconveniences of dead children cause them to rethink their arrogance, much less the “demands of radical militant homosexual activists”. And for them I have less concern.

But for those truly in conflict, I think we can afford a little compassion. And I imagine that in the light of the recent rash of suicides, there are more conservative Christians who are truly in conflict than in a long time.

I read your comments after ready Davids and I agree with you completely.

No. Actually you don’t.

I was speaking of theological beliefs about the acceptance of homosexuality on a moral level and the conflict that causes in people who wish to counteract bullying. I said nothing about “very destructive aspects of homosexual behavior.”

And I categorically reject your argument that the kids who killed themselves did not do so due to the bullying, which was evident, but instead due to “the confusion that has been created by the two warring sides of this debate.” Such an argument not only false, but abhorrent and vile.

It is attitudes such as yours that contribute to the problem, not the solution.

There is two sides to the doctrinal issues, but there is no other side to the bullying question. By raising the DoD as the antithesis of the DoS, Focus errs by changing the subject. Hence, they look complicit in bullying.

Warren, I completely agree.

Michael, I wish I knew why Christian concern and love are not rising to the occasion in the right way during these times. I pray they will.

Debbie, I think it goes back — once again — to the fear of appearing too “pro-gay” or “pro-sin” if they do. Unlike too many of his followers, when He was confronted by such self-righteousness and hatred, Jesus always rose to the occasion and took that chance.