Thanks Ann for sharing your thoughts. With harassment-words people use such as ‘unwanted sexual advances’ is a euphemism. You wrote to just walk away if 1 is being harassed, but just as there no need to say no to harassment, there’s also no need to walk away when youre’ being harassed in a business such as a restaurant you like to eat in, as again the other person had no right to do that to you in the 1st place. If a homosexual is going to harass customers by propositioning them in a restaurant, then the person who should be ejected is the homosexual & if he refuses to leave, then he should be jailed for harassment.

You can find cases in business such as restaurants, where a man propositions or makes sexual comments to a woman customer (such as telling the woman that she has big boobs) & after she or another female customer complains the manager, the manager either tells him to leave w/o incident & if he refused to do so, the manager reports him to the cops, who then either escort the man from the business & give him a warnin; or arrest the man for harassment-the police officer’s discretion. Even if the woman doesn’t personally care about being propositioned or hearing that she has big boobs, other women who are in that restaurant or other business may care & after all, a restaurant, store or any other business is the place to eat, shop & do business.

So your idea that if some1 is being harassed in a business, the person should just walk away is weak because again, there’s no need to walk away from what the other person had no right to do to you in the 1st place. A synonym would be if some1 is working in a company doing a job that they like & they’re being harassed by another employee, it’s a bad idea to suggest that the person just walk away & quit their job, because again the other person had no right to harass in the 1st place.

I read this last post several times and will try to respond to some of your comments.

I understand your observation and experience that men want to mostly have sex with young and pretty women. I don’t think much has changed there over the years. I also understand your position that older women are not as attractive and that it has been your experience that they do not want to have sex as much. You also mentioned that in this scenario, they think it is ok for their husband to find other women to have sex with. While these might all be true or partially true or not true at all depends on the people involved. I just don’t think I can impart anything further of value about it in a broad sense.

Regarding individuals who express a sexual interest in others, whether it be the same gender or opposite gender, and the other person is not interested, I still maintain the best response is to walk away. If a life or physical well being is in jeporady, then defending oneself anyway one can becomes necessary and is justifiable.

As to the comments that offended others, we have all done them – they important thing to remember is that you don’t have to do it twice. You sound like someone who has interesting thoughts and are interested in what others have to say. That is great.

Regarding your other comments about ethnicities, religions, etc. – they all sound very interesting and I am sure lots of discussion could come out of it. I want to respect Dr. Throckmorton’s admonishment though to stay on topic.

Anyhow to your other point, where my past posts offended some people & where perhaps people didn’t understand or became hostile to me was when the politics surrounding homophobic violence was discussed-my point is that most other batteries & murders don’t have ideology surrounding it. It’s easy to discuss that some1 committed battery or murder, but evaluating WHY something happened is a different matter & my evaluation got hostility as it has on other sites.

You read my eg. of a man who kills another man or woman after the victim had provoked him by telling him that the man’s mom was a slut, where the man tired of hearing the victim insult his mom, hits the victim or in worst case scenario pulls the trigger & shoots the victim dead in a passion crime. Ok, it’s 2nd Degree Murder & the man must spend many years & possibly the rest of his life in prison. Many people (perhaps some who post here) would say that while the man should go to prison, that the victim was an expletive & they’d discuss how ordinary people can lose it if given the circumstances. There usu. won’t be politics which surround this passion crime & chances are you won’t have a Day of Silence for these victims.

What offended people was when the scenario was raised by me of a man who kills a homosexual who is harassing him in the public restroom-though such a case has similar circumstances as the above eg.-that the crime happened as a result of provocation, there are politics & even a religion which surrounds this victim. My issue isn’t the law-already stated that it’s not worth killing some1 who is harassing you & spend perhaps the rest of your life in prison, but rather to end the religion surrounding this victim-writing this got me condemned-which most people wouldn’t do if I were discussing the above eg.. It wasn’t written to insult you, but rather to get you to consider things you may not have thought about. If a 15 year old high school student were to say the same things just done here (comparing the 2 eg.) during a Day of Silence @ a High School, that student may get detention or get suspended from school for thinking critically.

I didn’t give much thought & reach my conclusions about why homophobic violence sometimes happens & the poltics of this in 1 day-but as written earlier, by talking with & then thinking considerably about it-this took me years to do. The reason I posted about this in Feb. & March 2010 after an absence of almost 2.5 years on this website was to challenge people’s thinking on this, not to again discuss homosexuality & repair therapy per se (though I started by doing this) mainly because my views on this were given in 2006 & 2007 under the ID Swissalps & n/i in duplicating what had already been discussed.

There are other things that could be written by me which chances are wouldn’t offend most people. If I were to discuss a topic of can a Jewish man who lost relatives during the Holocaust work with a German w/o hating him or her, it wouldn’t generate much controversy. This is written because in a similar case, when my dad was an engineer, he knew a case of where a Japanese engineer (who worked @ his company) didn’t get along with a Chinese engineer & felt that the Chinese engineer treated him unfairly. It’s a good possibility that the Chinese engineer had relatives killed during WW2 by Japanese soldiers-China & Japan have a long turbulent history. There are many Jews who won’t drive a German car (incidentally Ferdinand Porsche Sr. was the engineer who created the VW Beetle) & there are Chinese & other Asians who won’t drive a Japanese car. My point on this is that discussing the other topics incl. this relations topic between Jews & Germans; Chinese & Japanese; etc. usu. won’t generate the hostile & even volatile responses (though people would say that it’s controversial & touchy) as my view on homosexuality does.

Finally, here’s 2 weak answers people sometimes give, when I’ve discussed what I just did surrounding homosexuality. 1 theme which isn’t about homosexuality but what people have written when I’ve discussed this is that society doesn’t take seriously men who sexually harass, rape & abuse women-this is untrue. Sexual harassment lawsuits disabuse this. In fact, rape & sex abuse by men against women is taken so seriously that it even has resulted in cases where men accused of rape & sex abuse were zealously pursued by prosecutors only for the men to later be found innocent. The 2006 Duke case is an eg. where several men were accused of gang rape, zealously pursued, only to later be found innocent. Society also zealously prosecutes men accused of of hitting (battery) their wife or girlfriend & some of the men prosecuted for domestic violence against their wives & girlfriends are innocent & didn’t do what they were accused of-cops sometimes do reach the wrong conclusion in domestic violence cases.

The 2d answer is the theme that if a homosexuals harasses a man in a public restroom, some people (usu. homosexual groups but even some straights) give the weak answer that the man should just say ‘no thanks’ & walk away. Again, propositioning some1 in a public restroom is a crime-harassment, disorderly conduct & disturbing the peace. There’s no need for a man to say ‘no thanks’ to a homosexual who propositions him in a pubic restroom for the same reason as there’s no reason for a shopkeeper to tell customers ‘don’t steal’-no need to say no that what the other person had no right to do in the 1st place. If some1 is committing harassment, theft, etc. then they must be reported to the police, arrested & jailed. Hopefully people incl. Dr. EW Throckmorton aren’t offended by what’s being written here. If you have nothing more of significance to share, then thanks for having this dialogue with me. Best wishes.

I should have looked up the word “diabuse” in the dictionary – sorry – I understand what it means now – I consider myself very well read but have not seen that word before.

Also, when you say this,

Ok, I admit that on some of my posts, I ended up being provocative by poorly writing things which wasn’t my intent to do so

it loses it’s sincerity when you add this,

but haven’t others?

It is always better received when you just admit an err and take responsibility for it. Also, much more appealing and conducive to re-connecting.

As to the all the other things you wrote – while the information you imparted could be interesting to some on a particular level, I would venture to say these are things, if felt, are better to be left within a private thought. I think this would be a good example of how to exercise discipline and self restraint. If you are an introspective man, you might consider looking at your own attributes and limitations and how they could benefit a relationship rather than looking at those qualities in others that you find so offensive. A creative man can have sex with a donut. A man who scrutinizes and finds fault will always be looking for others to do his work for him sexually. When we see ourselves with a sense of reality, we can then see others in a different light. Self centeredness is never sexy – it is boring.