Comments on: When women leave men for women: Sexual fluidity

By: frankp

frankp — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 12:32:58 +0000

this seems to be the big trend today, women leaving men for other women. this is very disgusting to me, and i cannot except that. as a straight man that has been married twice, i was a very good, caring, loving husband and never cheated on them, but they cheated on me. both of them cheated on me with other men. now that i go out a lot i seem to meet the ones that are lesbians, instead of the straight ones, just my luck. i hate being alone, at my age now, so i go out every night, just to be around other people. i hope someday to be at the right place at the right time to meet a good woman. when i see other families together, this makes me very upset, and sometimes i break down and cry. they are very lucky to have each other. i always wanted a family of my own years ago, but i never met the right woman. i feel that god is punishing me for a reason i do not know. i consider myself a good looking man, and i would have never thought i would have this problem. i do not want to be alone for the rest of my life, that would be terrible. i know other men like me that have the same problem, at least i am not alone. i wonder if there are any women out there that like men, and feel the same way. i would like to hear from you.

By: Craig

Craig — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 03:50:30 +0000

Warren, you frequently include a footnote like this:
“Just because some people experience change doesn’t mean all people can (in fact, most apparently don’t) and just because some people experience change doesn’t mean it occurs because of therapy, affect-focused or otherwise.”
Perhaps to be balanced you should also include the reminder: “But people can change with or without therapy and therapy may help”.

By: Matthew

Matthew — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 01:49:21 +0000

I also must say in the last several years I have gotton more outright harassment and negativity for saying I am bisexual, mainly from gay men, and in professional contexts. I have known many bisexual men. And have also met men like Susie Bright’s husband an openly bi guy in a poly relationship. He had an another girlfriend and boyfriend at the time. I think mainstream culture including sexolgists and psychologists really have their head in the sand when it comes to male bisexuality. It really seems like it is something so taboo that it must be illegitimized at all cost. But it is also something that is so common that many bisexual men are basically now coming out despite the cultural taboo and forming bisexual community. The real question that should be asked is what does male bisexuality threaten in our culture?

By: Matthew

Matthew — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 01:40:49 +0000

I have read tha “men are less sexually fluid” and yet from age 18 – 28, I dated men and women openly and very fluidly. This has come largely by being in an art and theater world where more openness of sexuality was permitted and LGBT culture was permissive in sexual expression. I then dated a woman monogomously for five years and then another for one. These break ups were difficult because of our codependecy and I was also struggling with PTSD and in therapy. Afterwords I tried to be celibate and went to Sex and Love Addict Anonymous. I slipped and during those years and had sex with 2 women and 3 men. But returning to meetings and tried to be less impulsive. But now that there is no traumatic affect at all I still feel very bisexual. I started dating again. I dated a woman who was upset when I told her I was bisexual. The relationship was monogomous as all of mine were. Then I dated a man and it was great but did not last. Now a woman who is also bisexual and it is a very affirming relationship. I have talked to many “straight” men who have come out to me telling me of their homoerotic feelings and fantasies. And I have talked to gay men who confess that they are sexually turned on by women. I really think that what may really be true is men are probably more fluid but constantly shamed and harassed to stay in the box of gay or straight.

By: frankop

frankop — Sun, 15 May 2011 18:47:00 +0000

many women today are lesbians because they feel more comfortable being with other women today.women know how to please other women today. this is very sad for good men like me that are trying to meet a normal woman today. i consider myself an average good looking man and i never thought i would have to compete with women today to find a woman. this explains why so many men like me are single today.