Comments on: Can we believe ex-gays and ex-ex-gays?

By: dan

dan — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 21:29:23 +0000

i hate the lables…i find that gay homosexual lesbien heterosexual and SSA and OSA…the whole lot to be rediculously inadiquate discriptive terms that really do nothing but cause confusion and devision….people love to define others by forcing them into these tiny boxes…and when they dont fit just right, there must be something wrong with them…..well i reject all the lables….its harmful to even use them, in any context….if it were not for sexuality lables and the desire for people to feel the need to conform to them…we would see a lot less problems with sexual attractions and (go figure) fewer people living in shame over having some level attraction to the same sex, even if they never act on those attractions or want to act on them…..but you folks go ahead and continue to debate over the usefulness of one pointless lable over another….its just silly in my view..

By: David Blakeslee

David Blakeslee — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 18:43:59 +0000

Welcome Tess…

By: Tess

Tess — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 16:56:18 +0000

@Mary,
I’m a lesbian who is attempting to be chaste because of religious beliefs. However, I’m not the least bit upset about being lesbian. In fact, I feel ‘gifted’ by God for being ‘disordered’ because Our Lord has a special love for the poor, the sick, the weak, the helpless. I feel I’ve been given a special gift from God to participate in His Cross, His social opprobrium, etc. I’m not about to change, and I don’t engage in the ‘gay’ culture. And, I don’t hide the fact that I’m a lesbian if questioned.
I’m also a bit confused about the term SSA. It’s a very misleading term. Every person of whatever gender who has a friend is same sex attracted to that friend. For example, a guy likes sports, cars, music …. he’s attracted to guys that also like sports, cars, music. SSA, Same Sex Attracted, is a cutesy term to hide centuries old terms that were completely legitimate: homosexual, lesbian.
However, I’m confused about your position, Mary. Are you saying a lesbian like myself is socially unacceptable … that I need to change to be acceptable even if I’m chaste? Are you saying my disorderedness has to be treated?
Are you now straight, married, with children?
I am by no means being contentious. I’m new here, and because women are different than men, I’d like your input.
Thank you.
Tess

By: Ann

Ann — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:37:23 +0000

It is so disheartening when a label becomes such a point of focus – really, what does it matter how I think of myself or how I live my life and how does it interfere with how anyone else thinks of themself? Don’t tell me who I am – trust me, I am capable of knowing myself better than you. Call me what you want but don’t count on me to respond – sorry, my identity doesn’t have to be limited to accommodate you or anyone else.

By: Mary

Mary — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 23:31:40 +0000

Kristin,
Being intellectually honest? I am straight to most of the world – except here. I don’t consider myself bi sexual or same sxz attracted anymore. I don’t know what the rest of my life holds for me in the future. By all definitions, I am ex gay and if you have been following the definitions given by the many people here – you will find a variety of answers. Simple? Not so. It has more to do with than penises, vaginas, breasts etc… and what people imagine or do with those things. Many SSA people do not define themselves by a label such as gay because the bible does not refer to people in that way. That is a faith based person who does not accept the “secular” definition of a person. And that is intellectually honest, too.