Karen,
I hear ya! For Thanksgiving, I was seated across from two lesbians, it was no coincidence (if you new my step mother.) The hatred I felt from them and the no recognition I get from my whole family (step or otherwise) is tremendous. My onw mother’s eyes stop blinking if I bring up the subject and she (an very talkative person) becomes quiet. It took me over seven years before I even told about my change.
In my bible study, I opened up to one woman and am not really sure how it will go from here on out but the estrangement one feels and the awkwardness that others feel can drive one back to the gay community just to feel accepted. Sad thing is … after awhile, that doesn’t feel right either. I came home this evening and had that awful feeling of belonging to the third kind of person. Not gay, not straight like others are straight and an outcast hiding in plain sight.
Ex gays just don’t talk about it. We are an outcast in many ways – from both groups. We are not accpeted for having been there, done that and no one wants us to talk about it. To the gays – it is fictitious, to most of our families – it is gross.
The message is very clear – we are not supposed to exist as we do.

And I will add from my own experience – Christian.

“I hope they will recognize and address all ‘intolerance of difference’ not just the sexual identity difference.”

Good luck with that one. “Intolerance of difference” is a key component of socialization, not just parenting. Peer pressure, stigma, taboo, are all related to getting along successfully with our neighbors. Obviously, those who go against the common wisdom of their family and peers will suffer the consequences of social rejection. This is true whether you are gay, alcoholic, fat, albino, or prone to tattoos and piercings, etc etc etc.

What kind of an impact does it make on a person who is rejected by their family – irregardless of their inclinations.

I’m not sure if this is where Mary was going with that but I wonder about the distinction of being rejected ‘for being gay’ and of being rejected for other reasons. My brothers were rejecting me for my non-athleticism and my hippie/peace freak life preference before any of us were sure I was gay. I appreciate where this study is going but I hope they will recognize and address all ‘intolerance of difference’ not just the sexual identity difference.