Comments on: Homosexuality and son-father estrangement

By: Charles

Charles — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 04:31:25 +0000

A poor or good father-son relationship may only influences how one chooses the type of person one ends up dating, both for straight and gay people. One doesn’t become straight nor becomes gay, one is born with a distinctive nature and it is not the “athmosphere” one grows in that turns someone into a gay or a straight person. Sex is not a choice but a God’s given feature like talents and other things we are born with and we don’t have control over. The real issues boils down to how society reacts to minorities and how one lives his or her sexuality and how much they abuse of it. Homosexuality is perfectly normal in nature but some religions demonize it mainly on the basis that sex is only for having children, a principle that can be perfectly acceptable. The problem arises when straight people having sex are tolerated even if they do not have procreation intents. Also, many priests do not marry and do not procreate and their same own logic against homosexuality files them in the category of unnaturally behaving people. But we know they are aiming to higher goals so they are doing right. This means that there are people who are destined to reproduce and have children and others, like priests, singles, sterile male and females, gay people and others, are not. Not difficult to understand. Our society overemphasises sex and sex related issues to the point of deep obsession. Sex instincts are to be brought under control not to be indulged in to the point of dependence and hate for others who are not into our same objects of desire but in their own right have our very same urges.

By: Don

Don — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:46:53 +0000

I know for me, I can’t look at any one thing and say it was the cause of my same-sex attractions. However, I do believe the relationship with my dad is a factor. So was my relationship with mother, other family members, my temperament, abuse, etc.
At the same time, I don’t know of anyone in “ex-gay” ministries who try to get people to hang their hat on a single cause. It’s up to the person to look at the many factors that could contribute and ask God to bring healing where needed.

By: Corey

Corey — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 04:18:22 +0000

As a gay man, my father was very active in my life, and we still have a strained relationship. He couched my soccer team, did homework with me, gave me pep talks, paid for private school and summer camps, really and genuinely cared about being a good father for both my sister and I. But good intentions do not always mean good parenting.
In fact when I came out, I came out to him first. His response was, he said he was so proud of our relationship that I was able to tell him something like that and that he would never of been that close to his own father. He said he loved me and was very positive. So all the years of me feeling I would be rejected was my own issue. But his tennis partner’s son I was in love with at 15 and me and him hooked up although now he has a girlfriend and is “str8” but we are still good friends to this day. But anyway my dad found out by overhearing a conversation and tried to stop my relationship with him. So I felt like I was given a mixed message. Verbally there was the positive parental talk but in reality open aggression towards my first love. And there are still things that bother me like how my parents discuss my sister’s love life. They ask me questions about her bf, ponder when she will get married. Want to meet anyone she is interested in and so on but my relationships are just ignored- kind of like don’t ask don’t tell. Which is very hurtful even though not intentional.
I always felt distance. It is the whole idea: what comes first the chx or the egg? Bad relationships with fathers do not cause being gay. Being gay conversely often cause bad relations. Everyone wants to feel accepted for who they really are, why narcissistic parents are so harmful, and when you are young and feel your parents want to change you or do not accept you at your most basic level your trust in them in broken and that strains the relationship. I think a large part of parenting is modeling to a little version of oneself. If you feel attached you want to pass everything down. Being gay throws that off. Also the study is flawed because the lesbians I know have the same sort of issues but with their mothers. So if like the study says, that there is some systemic societal issue with men being distant than why are there an equal amount or lesbians as gay men?
The problem is parents want to live through their children, instead of accepting and loving what their child really is. I bet most parents of gay children deep down know their child was gay from jump street. Being gay I feel is a hybrid gender (It is my personal belief that gay men are a mix of male and female and that our brains must be different then str8 men. And conversely lesbians exhibit more masculine behaviors. And in a society that does not like more feminine qualities in a boy the father is probably embarrassed or giving him the benefit of doubt, may honestly not know how to relate as well. I have since 4 years of age known I was attracted to guys. My parents are married 31 years, were loving and there was no abuse. A lot of my str8 male friends also have issues with their dads. Maybe men just have a hard time being emotionally connected with another man.
Additionally, why is homosexuality reported in all animal species. We are part of the ecosystem. Native Americans believed there were gods and spirits involved in the female gender and of the male gender and those who exhibited qualities of both were viewed as blessed. We should start viewing homosexuality as a blessing instead of something that can be corrected.
The main root of the problem is people want an image or this fantasy so they blind themselves to reality.
I would also like to point out that in the procreation of bees, the worker bees are perfectly capable of procreating but they do not. They are still part of the process and an important part of the ecosystem. Maybe gays affect the mating selection in another way then actually producing offspring themselves. Although now a lot of gays are having children so maybe this is just a tangent. In any regard, I hope my perspective helps in some way.

By: Michael Bussee

Michael Bussee — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:37:47 +0000

Drowssap asked: “I see his name used a lot but who is Cameron?” Check it out here: http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/Articles/000,020.htm
Dr. Throckmorton has blogged about him quite a bit, calling his views and “solutions” to the “gay problem” “abhorrent” and saying “there are many evils in this world and Cameron is one of them”.
In spite of this, EXODUS only recently stopped citing his ridiculous and hateful “research” (mainly at Throckmorton’s urging), but EXODUS has never publicly denounced the man or his views — as Throckmorton has done.
NARTH continues to cite his “research” and seems to have no problem at all with his views of gays as “parasitic” or with his holocaust-revisionist ideas. EXODUS and NARTH have done very little to speak up loudly and clearly about this hatemonger.
Why is that? It truly makes them look like “bad organizations with bad people.” Why won’t they do as Throckmorton has done? Do they agree with Cameron? If not, why won’t they say so and clearly denounce the man and his hateful teachings?

By: Drowssap

Drowssap — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 23:08:08 +0000

Ann
If herpes caused Cerebal Palsy in adults instead of their children you can bet casual sex would lose a lot of it’s cool factor.
…then again AIDS runs counter to that idea. I think I heard that AIDS rates were going up. So I dunno…
In any case “old fashioned” values can be life savers.