We need to keep in mind that theories are maps, not the territory. Theories are ideas, not facts.

Thank you, Sir, for being a rational, gentlemanly and academically honest voice in the midst ot the tawdry verbal and written brawl that is so often the nature of any discussion concerning the nature of sexual orientation.

I think there is some relevance to how a boy manages to build some bridges to his gender peers via his relationship with his father, but this is just a step in a larger picture, and it is not self-evident that it is absolutely necessary at that. One may not have a good father-son relationship, but have a great connection with one’s gender peers. I know people who were very rebellious towards both parents and were mostly influenced by their peers. Today they are husbands, have children and are your regular blokes you can see in a pub. So this may have some relevance, but it doesn’t amount to much evidence that it has sufficient generality to be a predictor of later sexual feelings. Maybe the picture is more complicated than that and it should be judged in conjunction with other factors, like power relations between parents, but even this track has been investigated and failed to find some evidence. I remember Virginia Abernethy’s research in the 80s about gender dominance and reproduction in higher primates, and its role in the development of sexual orientation, did not eventually garner support in the scientific community. It’s a thesis that still holds some appeal to me, but no one made a credible case for that until now.

What all theoretical accounts must explain and still fail to do so is how necessary every stage of development is in the formation of sexual feelings. Why is childhood a critical age for establishing the right connections for future gender identification and sexual feelings? Is it empirically proved that it must necessarily be so and to what degree? Could someone reverse the socialising patterns and get an opposite effect in attractions even to a certain significant degree? Does it have to have some specific genetic components to be able to develop a type of attractions or it can work only by socialising patterns in some people? Are homosexual men unable to be attracted and aroused by any woman and if they are able, what does that say about exotic becoming erotic if their childhood was gender nonconforming and mostly spent around girls? All these questions and a host of others I have in mind are very interesting theoretically and very relevant to many people’s lives, but they are not addressed by research as yet. Going on with the same story of father and son doesn’t bring much light into this field and in some people’s lives.

Concerned,

This makes perfect sense to me and I am glad you shared it.