I don’t think the you-haven’t-experienced-it-so-you-can’t-possibly-understand argument works here! I agree with Tim

A person may have sexual inclinations but it seems that the gay community want ex gays to only focus on the gay feelings they have and not the vast and broad range of other feelings and emotions they have about their own sexuality.

That makes just about as much sense as complaining that coca-cola dealers only want to focus on when their restaurants serve Pepsi and ignore the bread sticks, cheese cake, and penne arabiata.

It’s because in the context of “ex-gay” it just isn’t relevant what someone feels about their cat. It doesn’t matter if they not alone drinking every night. I really doesn’t even matter if are closer to God. If the discussion is “changing sexual orientation” than that which is relevant is “sexual orientation”, not whether they are happier or have different values.

So yeah, that’s what we focus on. If you want to talk about religious conversion, well jolly for you. But when you talk about “change” in the context of attractions, then it seems to us to be a classic bait and switch to then say, “oh, but I meant something else”.

Sexual abuse of children is not sex – it is abuse. And though my heart aches deeply for those children who have suffered at the hands of the Catholic church, there are priests who are not involved in that.

Jag,

A person may have sexual inclinations but it seems that the gay community want ex gays to only focus on the gay feelings they have and not the vast and broad range of other feelings and emotions they have about their own sexuality. I do not think that those who live celebate lives by their own choice are lving miserble lives. It is closer to their faith and values than to live and act out on their same sex attracted feelings. You might not think so – but it is not your life they are living. As far as my inclinations and attractions towards women – they are far and few between and not something I struggle with in the same way that others might. That is today – it may change in the future. But it is my choice to live as I choose according to my perspective and so it is with you and others – gay, straight, ex gay, ex gay celibate, ex ex gay or whatever.

Mary – obviously, you have’nt been paying attention. There are thousands of fomer alter boys who might differ with you.

You stated :

“what is wrong with putting God before affectional/sexual living. Priests do it and you don’t seem to be complaining. Widows/widowers do it. Married couples commit to each other and I am sure have sexual feelings for others throughout thier marriages?? Why can’t someone give up themselves for their God?”

Realize that in every example you gave, the person still has the same sexual inclinations, they are ONLY choosing whether or not to act on it. Just like in an “ex-gay” situation, you still have inclinations and urges, but do not act on that. It doesn’t make the priest any less heterosexual…see what I’m saying?

People can choose to live in alignment with their sexuality, or deny it and live miserably – that is their choice. Try as they might, and spout the rhetoric as they might, in the end – their heart is in the right place, but they still have the same desires. They’re gay doing their best not to be.

It’s like me trying not to be right handed – I can practice and practice writing with my left…it’s awkward and sloppy, but eventually it will look pretty good. Others will likely never know that deep down, all I want to do is grab that pen with my right hand when I write – it comes so naturally, I genuinely enjoy it, and what comes of it is absolutely beautiful.

People have the right to choose how to express their sexual inclinations…in the end, their just practicing with their nondominant hand until they look good enough to pass with others- or maybe for a while, fool themselves.

I did not say anywhere that God requires gays to give up their sexuality. I did say that a person has a right to choose what they will do with their sexuality.

I totally agree with you. Priests do give up sex for God…but not every heterosexual does or should. Married individuals do limit their sexual partners and commit to one person under God…just as I think same-sex couples can and do in the places they are (and are not) able to marry legally. The toronto star did a wonderful story that I linked to of two young women from america who went to canada to make it “legal” and then had a religious ceremony in their hometown in america. Marriage and celibacy are both admirable things, and are options for all.

I don’t assume you are a religious zealot…wow…you misread that. I’m an avid churchgoer, but in a reconciling methodist church. I do see that the larger church community communicates the message that being gay is wrong – and to me, that is a shame.

We agree that anyone can give themselves up for God…but seem to disagree that God does not require it of gay or lesbian people any more than he requires it for heterosexual ones. Both are equally valid if practiced under the same principles (For example, just as a heterosexual person should not have sex with a child…neither should a homosexual, no rape, etc…)

I think abbreviating as ‘BEG’ may have been my bad. When I noted Warren was abbreviating as BXG, I switched. My apologies. LOL! We’ve got enough to sort through without unfortunate acronyms.

It’s not earthshaking, but I believe the abbreviation the Beyond Ex-Gay people are using at the site is bXg, not BEG. Seeing the latter in print here helps me understand perhaps why 😉

We do something similar with XGW, instead of EGW.