Individual ministries within EXODUS have differing approaches, different ministry focus, different theological approaches, varying degrees of ‘professionalism’. An EXODUS conference is usually a smorgasbord of teaching sessions. In my day, someone could elect to attend my ‘lessons for the battlefield’ or they could opt for a class on ‘charismatic inner healing’ or maybe a ‘spouse’s session’. A person COULD come away from a week long conference having only heard ‘what they wanted to’…they could skip out on theologies or approaches that differed from their own.

Whether that’s good or bad is not for me to say. I’m just saying that’s the way it was–and I think still is.

Jayhuck noted that Michael’s story of his heterosexual marriage and divorce is an excellent example of what’s wrong with EXODUS. I just want to make it clear that Michael’s marriage pretty much coincided with (and may have even preceded) EXODUS. Before the ‘coming together’ of the various ministries across the US, each came from their own church and/or ministry. The responsibility for Michael’s failed marriage does not belong to EXODUS but rather to Michael and his local church and ministry. Like I said, EXODUS hadn’t happened yet.

Jayhuck, I attended about 10 EXODUS conferences–admittedly some years back–and I NEVER saw heterosexuality being flashed about in the manner you describe. (But, then again, I never attended the ‘inner healing’ sessions. See above.) At the same time, the news of ‘somebody that actually got married’ would spread rather quickly. Some were fascinated by the concept; others were literally freaked out. And, there was a tendency among many to see the married guy as ‘more healed’. Some of the theologies did embrace this as ‘ultimate proof of God’s healing’.

I keep thinking that this is where the impression originated that EXODUS promises and preaches heterosexuality. And, let’s be truthful, if you were a media person covering the event, which would you be more likely to report on: the ex-gay guy who says he’s now happily heterosexual or the one who’s talking about reckoning with temptation? I believe that, although EXODUS conferences were presenting a more balanced picture, the media capitalized on the sensational.

I do want EXODUS Headquarters to get out of politics. If they feel they must remain politically involved, then I feel it’s imperative that they severe all ties with that right wing Republican/Christian beast that they’ve gotten tangled up with. Guilt by association with such hypocrisy does not serve EXODUS well. If EXODUS remains politically involved, I feel it must constantly reiterate two distinctions–1) the difference between EXODUS point of view and the beast above 2) the difference between EXODUS HQ — its member agencies and –ex-gays in general.

Frankly, I think it’s just too confusing on both fronts and HQ should cease making any political statements at all. If individuals or local ministries want to get involved, that’s their business BUT they can’t claim to be speaking for EXODUS or for ex-gays in general.

But anyhow, how would it feel to someone if you invited them in to a ministry and then if they did not change or whatever you have this public statement saying that you do not support their choices (because that’s you call it) and you are going to vote against them, their families, their everything that protects you because you think it is bad policy or because homosexuals are bad for society? It would not make me trust the people that were “trying” to help me.

I can totally understand that people have different opinions and values and vote differently. But to make politics part of your ministry is just shameful to me and almost sinful.

Okay broken man/woman/child “Heal!” and if you don’t we don’t give you legal rights. (Because God said it is okay to say so) Yeah – right????

There has been some change in the idea that marriage is the goal of “changing”. Alot of people are moving away from that idea.

I don’t know what they promote at Exodus as I have never been to their conferences and do not plan on doing so in the near future.

I will choose to not take offense at your assertion that I don’t understand the concepts of a life of REAL faith. But I will let you know that all of us here actually believe the Bible and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some of us just think that the Good News of Jesus Christ isn’t about condemnation and the Law of Moses.

And while a 5th grade understanding of scripture (in English) is adequate for you, some of us believe that a study of scripture in the original language and seen within culture and context is a worthy pursuit. I don’t condemn those who apply the English scripture to their own lives – that’s great. But before we determine what should be done with the lives of others, we need to consider that the Bible wasn’t written in our culture, our language, or to our method of thinking.

I am saddened that you have found exexers who were intolerant of your decisions. I, for one, want to assure you that we all wish you well in your life and none of us are intolerance towards your choices. Your desire to live consistent with your faith is to commentded.

But I hope some day that you can reciprocate. I am saddened that you currently think that showing others the same respect you demand is “compromise” (in the negative church-speak way) and hope that you can come to see that this notion is in direct contrast to the commandments of Christ.

I am also glad to hear that after 25 years you are still finding change and freedom and continue to hope for more freedom. I sincerely wish you well with that.

Have a great time in Irvine.

Stephen Black,

My experience has been the opposite of yours. I was raised in a strong fundamentalist background (we attended Vernon McGhees church when I was little, and then John MacArthurs church a young teen). At age 14 I became a Jesus freak, and was one of those guys who carried his bible to high school everyday. I “knew” Jesus. Around that same age, I, like most teens, had my first “wet dream,” it was about another guy. I had known of my ssa before this, like most “gays” but it didn’t plunge me into crises, because I “knew” Jesus. It was very “black and white” for me. “The bible says that acting on ssa is a sin, so God will either fix me or give me the ability to resist.” As you may have gathered, this was during the early 70’s when people didn’t talk of ssa, certainly not at church. At 17 I started bible college, while there, I received “the baptism in the Holy Spirit.” Quite an event for a guy raised in the types of churches that I was…back then talking in tongues was considered demonic by my church people or at best was not for today. I left bible school, it was baptist after all and they didn’t believe in the spiritual gifts, and no matter, I didn’t need bible school to follow God…you see, I really believed and I was quite serious about being a disciple of Jesus. I attended Jack Hayfords church for awhile, but that was a commute of 65 miles, so I began attending a small charismatic church nearer to where I lived. At 19 I got up the guts to “confess” my ssa to the church…yep, the whole church (sans children). I figured that this was part of “walking in the light” and part of the process of beating this thing. As all gays know, you become a second class citizen (at best) when people know about your ssa, that’s of course why we live in carefully constructed closets. Back in the mid 70’s people simply didn’t talk about ssa, let alone know anything about it. As a kid, I had tried reading about it, but there wasn’t much available…just scholarly stuff. But, that didn’t really matter to me. I didn’t need a doctor, I only needed Jesus/God. Even at that age, I had read the bible several times, it was “the word of God.” Back to church. My pastor and fellow believers all laid hands on me, prayed for me and my deliverance, and that was that. Never a word was mentioned again, they believed too. It took quite a bit of courage for me to mention my ssa in the first place, I wasn’t about to tell them that it hadn’t changed. That was the first time that I actually realized I was alone with this. At 21 I married. For years the joke between my wife and myself was that I never actually proposed to her. You see, it was an arranged marriage of sorts, “God” led us to get married. About a month after marrying, I “confessed” to my wife that I still struggled with ssa. I was a kid, and ignorant. I believed that she would be my ally in the struggle (it was just another sin after all, sin is sin, right?) and reassured her that God was going to deal, no worries mate. She was devastated and had all the normal feelings and hurt that any normal 21 year old woman would have upon hearing such. She had been part of the church where I originally confessed and had assumed it was a non issue. Well, I still assumed it would be a non issue, after all, if God be for me, who could be against me. I believed, not in method, but in an actual being who was there to help me become what He wanted me to be. Of course, I had had my whole life to get used to the ssa, she had not, I really realized at that point that it would be just me and God, people couldn’t deal with or understand this and as a kid I was equiped to educate them. No matter, “God” knew and understood better than me or anyone else, I trusted “Him.” I’m going to fast forward through all the rotten details here. I’ve been married 30 years, lots of hell for me and my wife and kids. I am no less gay today than I was 35 years ago.

Your story is one of the main reasons I have such a problem with Exodus and their methods. They teach people to idolize marriage. They talk it up, and even, I’ve heard, shown pictures of happily married people during conferences.

This message is so problematic – because change, for the people who feel they must go this route, isn’t and should never be about getting married and having kids. How many times do people have to say that these things don’t make you holy. Any person seeking reparative therapy should never have a desire to get married – they should have a desire for holiness. I don’t usually see this though – I see people trying to trumpet how their change has turned them mostly heterosexual, and now we have many many stories of people who realize this isn’t true.