he he snicker snicker

http://www.sbministries.org/

— Stephen Bennett Ministries

I”ll meet you half way. You should be definitely be able to say that you’ve found that acting on those attractions has been destructive for you. But if you expand that to others and make universal assumptions about someone else acting on attraction, well then you opened up the judgment and can probably expect some back in return.

Fair ’nuff?

Anon2–I appreciate your perspectives tremendously. I’m glad that you’ve learned that it’s YOUR path, YOUR journey. I hope you continue to contribute here.

I keep feel like I’m forgetting to say something but there’s a blinking icon on my taskbar that is demanding my attention. Later….

As far as how things have changed, I do not think it will help change your mind at all if I describe in detail what has changed, because that is my experience not yours.

By now, that should not surprise or trouble you. Perhaps they don’t trust it, because people like you (who claim that they have “changed”) typically don’t DESCRIBE the change. They expect the critics to accept it on face value. That’s asking too much. If you want to communicate with skeptics (like me) It’s not enough to say “I changed”. That could mean ANYTHING. To the best of your ability, tell us WHAT changed and HOW.

Most of all, avoid the labels (like former homosexual or ex-gay) that give the incorrect impression that EVERYTHING has changed, that you are now “completely heterosexual” — or that you no longer have gay attractions. If you MUST use one of these (vexing) terms — or really LIKE a label for personal reasons — that’s cool, just try to explain what YOU mean by it. Otherwise, it looks like you are being less than truthful. By now, we know that vague or grandiose language that promises or implies “sudden, radical and/or complete” change is irresponsible “hype” — and people have gotten really tired of that.

What you are saying sound great and I could not agree with you more, but from my own experience when I say that change has occurred I find that many do not believe that to be true. They do not want to accept that I can take some level of responsiblity for my life and offer it over to Jesus and to God inorder that I may experience a more fulfilling life away from the damaging influence of homosexual behaviour. This may not mean that I have experienced a 100% change in my feeling, but it definitely has given me a clearer understanding as to why I might feel some level of attraction to members of the same sex. It has also helped me realize that that attraction is not necessarily a sexual requirement unless I want to focus it as such. So much of what I am learning is that the choices I make on a daily basis influence how I feel about myself and my relationship with those around me, especially with Christ.

I do not feel I am overly religious, but I do feel that if I want to experience a connection with God I must be willing to abide by some set of rules and be able to be open to other points of view not just the ones that seems to work for me. Others experiences may have provided them with a different way of finding God. Who am I to judge? I am finding myself looking at how I am justifying my own position more and more these days and in so doing I am learning humility and empathy for others. When I am unable to do this I find that my ego takes me down paths that I would rather not follow.

And over the last five years since Alan Chambers stepped into presidency, the ex-gay organization has increased its number of member ministries to over 130 as well as its involvement in public policy issues and has become a prominent voice on gender issues, particularly in the wake of the Ted Haggard sex-and-drugs scandal.

“I think the media exposure is a result of our expanded vision,” Thomas explained. “I think they’re seeing our willingness to speak a redemptive message to the public sector. People are interested in a new opinion and so we bring that to the table and the media has been willing to report.” [emphasis mine]

When your goal ceases to be ministy and becomes swaying public policy, these accidents of language can become easier to make. When you cease being accountable to God and become accountable to political accomplishments, your methods change.

You just need to tell the story. Tell us about the long, difficult journey, tells us about the struggles and victories. That’s OK. Everyone’s experience is different. There’s no need to “define it” — if you just describe the changes that have taken place — and are STILL taking place — in your life.