George Carlin expressed similar frustration in an HBO stand-up routine. He was talking about how our society likes to “soften” language to disguise many uncomfortable truths. People are not “fired”, they are “downsized”. Quoting Carlin: “Changing the NAME of the condition does not change the condition!”

Or to put it another way, no matter how hard the ex-gay movement tries to wiggle out of it, an “ex-gay” is still a “person with unwanted same sex attractions”. He is still homosexual. Still gay. Straight or heterosexual people do not have “unwanted same-sex attractions”. That’s what unhappy gays or bisexuals have.

I am curious about one thing; what would you say to a client who made the same requests as did Scott, but who you strongly suspected was acting out of of pressure from family or society? At what point would you, if ever, suggest to someone that accepting their orientation might be the best course to take? Or would you always be the therapist whom one can recommend and be assured that the client will never come away thinking such a thing?

Some in science tried to convince us that nothing can be done to change in order to justify the choices they made for themselves.

That’s a moral judgment. Again, as things stand it is, at best, highly unlikely that someone will experience a large degree of change in their sexual orientation no matter what they do. To get an honest man of science to say otherwise would be asking him to lie. To say that this means they were only “trying to justify the choices they made for themselves” in saying so is assigning an ulterior motive which is telling concerning your own motivation.

True it is a difficult journey, but if no one was saying “you cannot change” perhaps more would try and more would be successful. On the other hand if we were more supportive of the person where they are at they may feel more willing to follow the call of God in their life.

More judgment. What do you think the majority of gay people were doing before recent years when living their lives honestly became a real possibility? Who didn’t try to change?

But the most judgmental thing you have said comes after that, the suggestion that those who are gay are not following the call of God in their lives. And I suggest you think long and hard before you attribute the work He has done in so many gay people’s lives to something other than He. You are responsible for your own conscience, why are you trying so hard to be someone else’s?

If my children choose to use drugs I have a responsibility to them to warn them of the dangers. If I see someone who is risking their life through hazardous sexual behavior I have a responsibiltiy to them as well.

Until you stop comparing the lives of good people who just happen to be gay to those of substance abusers and sex addicts, I doubt you will get much understanding from anyone on this side of the aisle. And I don’t quite see how God can do much through you in that respect either.

I hope the same is true for those who have choosen to live a gay life. Let them not judge those that have been called to something else. The issue for me has always been what others are trying to convince me about whether or not SSA can be overcome. Instead I have learned that the issue should really be am I in a right relationship with God.

Some in science tried to convince us that nothing can be done to change in order to justify the choices they made for themselves. According to you that is perfectly justified. I feel it is not. True it is a difficult journey, but if no one was saying “you cannot change” perhaps more would try and more would be successful. On the other hand if we were more supportive of the person where they are at they may feel more willing to follow the call of God in their life.

I have met many who cannot reconcile their SSA and their faith, but truly want to. For so many of these people the issue is not overcoming the SSA, but removing the isolation they find themselves in because of not feeling accepted. What I think is required by me is to show that I Love and accept each person, but I do not have to condone or reinforce in them that that is the only decision for them. If my children choose to use drugs I have a responsibility to them to warn them of the dangers. If I see someone who is risking their life through hazardous sexual behavior I have a responsibiltiy to them as well. True it is up to them to choose whether they listen to my warning or not, but I have done my part. That is not being unchristian, infact that is the christian response for all of us as is outline in the teaching of Christ.

All I have seen for years is people trying to convince me that there is nothing wrong with being gay, while I continue to see young people and older people giving themselves to promiscuous sex, alcohol, and drug addictions while being exposed to various diseases.

I was empathizing with you somewhat until you put that old line out there.

Personally, and I mean this with no disrespect, I don’t care what you believe. If you believe sincerely that God wants you to abstain from intimate relationships with the same sex, well then you better abstain. But your attitude toward those who believe differently is puzzling considering how close you say you are to God. Someone from your background, who is truly in a right relationship with God, should at the very least understand the pain that often accompanies coming to an understanding of one’s faith (no matter which way that lands them on this subject) and therefore respect their choices.

So conduct your life as you see fit, but please don’t interfere with the lives of others, perhaps in an attempt to reinforce your own beliefs. I believe God has a right to deal with all of us as He sees fit without anyone else’s input – and people also have the free will to reject Him entirely. And since the majority of people who happen to be gay do not change and apparently don’t want to spend their lives at the attempt, you may have to put up with yours being the minority view. That isn’t likely to change, but if it’s right for your life then it shouldn’t make any difference.