Comments on: Holding therapy and the Sexual Identity Therapy Framework https://wthrockmorton.com/2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/ A [retired] college psychology professor's observations about public policy, mental health, sexual identity, and religious issues Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:05:58 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 By: Michael Bussee https://wthrockmorton.com/2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4364 Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:05:58 +0000 https://www.wthrockmorton.com//2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4364 Lynn David said: “It just struck me that the opposite of being gay is not ex-gay….” You are so right. Any reasonable, honest person knows that the opposite of gay is “straight” or “heterosexual” — and ex-gay has never meant that.

]]> By: Lynn David https://wthrockmorton.com/2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4363 Mon, 02 Apr 2007 02:22:36 +0000 https://www.wthrockmorton.com//2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4363 It just struck me that the opposite of being gay is not ex-gay…. the true opposite is indeed being miserably unhappy about who you are.

And that is the behind the entirety of the socio-political underpinnings of the ex-gay/change philosophy. It is not that any certain percentage of persons of homosexual orientation might be able to change. The point for the ex-gay ministries/ministerial therapies is that they be able to have access to those who might change their orientation (for however short a period).

The number of people that they can change, not necessarily any percentage increase but simply the number that might change (for however short a time), is dependant upon the absolute number which may be shamed enough by societal and relgious pressures. The religous/faith-based pressure has always been there in society.

The political pressure which ex-gay groups tacitly approve is now necessary in that egalitarian society which Christianity envisioned. Thus democracy then is no longer that means to an egalitarian society through the implementation of personal rights, but that means by which to impart societal pressure. All of which is meant to shame the individual into not accepting himself. Thus the numbers may be increased (for however short a period) even though their percentage of success may decline.

]]> By: Timothy Kincaid https://wthrockmorton.com/2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4362 Sun, 01 Apr 2007 22:27:52 +0000 https://www.wthrockmorton.com//2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4362 One might contrast this Zach story with the other Zach story.

]]> By: gordo https://wthrockmorton.com/2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4361 Sun, 01 Apr 2007 20:28:56 +0000 https://www.wthrockmorton.com//2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4361 Thank you for that article, Nick. Sixth Grade has certainly changed since my time. A story like that makes the struggle worth it, and makes the world feel like a better place.

And it probably ruined Regina Grigg’s day!

]]> By: NickC https://wthrockmorton.com/2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4360 Sun, 01 Apr 2007 17:47:26 +0000 https://www.wthrockmorton.com//2007/03/27/holding-therapy-and-the-sexual-identity-therapy-framework/#comment-4360 There’s a story in today’s New York Times that speaks eloquently to these unending discussions on the best way to deal with “unwanted same sex attraction.” I was at first going to call the story remarkable, but as I think about it, it shouldn’t really be particularly remarkable. Just a quiet, touching account of a young boy who was deeply unhappy about his homosexual feelings until he came out and discovered acceptance by his family, friends, and available support groups for gay youth.

(I’m pasting the link here, but it’s a long and awkward one, so if it doesnt’ work, just visit the NYT home page and look for the story. Registration required.)

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/01RParenting.html?hp=&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1175448598-TgfdTyP9ZKK9aEjBKgnhyg

What would have happened if Zach’s family, instead of reacting to his identity with simple love and approval, had shipped him off to a Love in Action or ex-gay therapist? How much additional turmoil and depression would he have endured if he spent his adolescense battling his own sexual feelings as “unwanted attractions”?

Instead, because he did find a welcoming community, he has grown up as a confident, successful young man, far less focused on his gay identity than on his school activities and friends.

That’s why I have a difficult time with the Dr Throckmortons and Karen Booths and others who keep seeking new (or resurrect old) therapeutic approaches for gay “strugglers.” I don’t think you will ever find any therapy that produces as much mental health as honesty and self-acceptance.

In other words, coming out really is the best therapy for unwanted same sex attractions.

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