But that term (queer by choice) is very limiting and does not accurately reflect my own experience. It certainly doesn’t convey it according to how others would interpret the phrase “queer by choice.” I guess the “queer by choice” is similar to “ex-gay” or “formerly homosexual” that way.

Isn’t it funny how you can find someone to support your preconceptions on the internet no matter how incredibly lacking in substance they are? And if you don’t look too closely, you can claim just about anything about just about anyone.

Of the roughly 7,000,000 gay people out there, Queer By Choice is up to 150 people on their mailing list (I suspect that about 100 are anti-gay activists). That’s about the same number claiming to be the father of Dani-Lynn Smith.

And here’s a little sample of the first two people that I selected on their site (there’s a dozen or so):

“i’ve always felt an attraction to other men. i don’t know why, but i have. it’s something i am learning to accept, and feel comfortable with”

“The way I address the nature/nurture/choice issue is to minimize the question. After all, whether or not homosexuality is a choice pales next to the issue of the injustice LGBT folks suffer under the law, in school, in church, in the workplace, etc. These folks exist (include me), and arguing the cause trivializes their pain. The cause is moot.”

Hmmmm, maybe it’s just be but I’m not seeing the “choice”.

Anyway…this back-and-forth between the son accepting and knowing himself and his father’s expectations of change screams “conditions of worth.” It is sad to watch a parent injure their rapport with their child, and place expectations on him that he will likely never meet. Dragging him off to straight camp isn’t likely to help.

If you look, the “love won out” movement rarely has any involvement from reputable psychologists, psychiatrists, or experts in mental health…looking at their website, those who are expected to “change” are …

Anne Heche’s mom

A professor of Education

A guy with no degree who runs “genesis counseling”

A masters of divinity

A guy with no degree who works for Focus on the Family

Nicolosi (need i say more?)

Alan Chambers – no degree, who speaks about change

A Psy.D. who is focus on the Family’s psychologist in residence.

wow…it’s amazing how many speak with authority on change who have nothing to support them.

I suppose that’s the only way that “change” can be advocated…if you don’t have the education to know any better.

come on…is an educated person really supposed to buy this?

There are those who claim to be capable of same or opposite sex attraction. We tend to call them bisexuals.

But this “whole movement” of which you speak is rather small. I don’t think it accurately represents “we all”, as you so confidently put it. To say otherwise is to refuse to accept the validity of what people really experience and feel when they experience or feel something so deeply intrinsically otherwise.

If you feel capable of same or opposite attraction, then good for you. I guess you can be “queer by choice.” But don’t make the mistake of taking some people’s experience and assume universality from that.