I have appreciated your input over the past few months and gained a lot of insight into why I have struggled for so many years with my SSA. I have also come to the realization that I must not encourage those feelings in any way in my life, but must turn to support from my faith community in dealing with any going temptations.

I have also come to realize that I do not need to further feed those temptations by listening to others who have chosen to accept that there is nothing more that can be done. Homosexuality and heterosexuality are not one in the same. One provides a natural life giving power to us and the other can only provide a sense of fullfillment in an artificially created environment. It may feel natural to someone who wishes to live there live that way, but it has become increasingly obvious that a great deal must be ignored inorder to find that balance. I am not prepared to ignore the many reasons why I may have these attractions in order to believe they are innate or unchangeable, because if I do that I would think it would be very difficult to say that anything human beings do to each other is unacceptable. I believe I have made many mistakes, but I also believe that Christ has offered much in the line of forgiveness for these mistakes, but he does still call me to avoid making the same mistakes again. Sadly, I was trapped in that pattern for many years because I was led to believe there was nothing I could do to alleviate the pull toward these temptations. Now I realize there is much that I can do and the first step is to surrender my will to his. It has always been my will that has gotten me into trouble. My attempt to justify the behavior. I have stopped doing that. Whether that means my SSA will deminish or disappear only time will tell. I know it has changed a great deal.

I want to thank you for the help you have given but I must leave this discussion now to focus on more rewarding challenges.

A brief word “Our most inimate experience was holding his hand as he died. We always were intimate and never stopped being intimate. Sex was part of it, one way we expressed it, but was not the basis of it.”

That was beautifully written and I appreciate you sharing that. It certainly speaks to the intimacy and beauty that is shared with opposite-sexed couples as well as same-sex ones.

And on that note…you stated that you would “love” to marry your current partner? What stops you? A quick drive to Canada and it’s as legal as can be. Sure, it is not recognized at home…interracial marriages weren’t for a time either….but committing in whatever way you feel led to do is important.

Committing under God is not bound by the legal restrictions of the land.

If you were to say the APA is biased against conversion therapy I would agree. However, I do believe if you were to produce some valid scientific research showing change can occur, you could sway the APA’s stance. So my question is why aren’t the supporters of conversion therapy producing such research?

Here is how influence can be applied. By the professions changing ethics codes and standards of practice, they in effect change state laws because states simply rely on the professions to set these guidelines. If the professions say to people in conflict, your only mentally healthy alternative is to come out as gay, then the legal landscape becomes very tricky for anyone who works within a client’s values framework – even the one I have advanced. It is an indirect route but it can be very effective. I suspect the HRC and similar groups would support the professions making these steps.

You talked in length without addressing my point:

If you remove same-sex attractions from a homosexual person you do not end up with a heterosexual.