http://nymag.com/news/features/bem-esp-2011-3/

According to “Feeling the Future,” a peer-reviewed paper the APA’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology will publish this month, Bem has found evidence supporting the existence of precognition.

He tested 1,000 people and instead of 50% picking the right curtain that hid the porn, it was 53.1%. Ergo, precognition.

I don’t think relationships is a good criteria. There are a LOT of gay and straight individuals who love sex, but just aren’t interested in any sort of relationship.

So then these so called “players” are not really gay or straight?

Being gay is but one aspect of my existance; it isn’t the sole anchor of my life; I don’t walk around saying, “Hi, I’m gay male Matthew” – I am Matthew first, wine enthuiast second, and somewhere down the list between blogger and choc-a-holic, comes my sexual orientation – yes, it is one component, like I said, but it isn’t the over all driving force of my life – it isn’t my ‘zen’ as you could say.

RE: Ricky

I don’t know about other gay males, but sex is only *ONE* component of a relationship; just as for a straight male, sex is only *ONE* component of the relationship with a female.

I want a long term, stable, relationship with a male; and yes, sex is but one component with in the relationship.

A ‘truely gay’ individual will want ‘all of the above’ – not just wanting to have sex for the sake of having sex; if that is the case, they can screw anything and everyone simply to get an orgasm.

Now, if someone likes going around screwing other guys, then good for him, I certainly won’t get in his way; infact, I might raise my rear and him him have a ride; but at the same time, lets not try to make out that some how, who someone has sex with defines their sexual orientation, because you know as well as I do that who one has sex with has much to do with sexual orientation as it does with availability of a possible partner, societal constructs and the particular fetish/vices of the individual.

Combine all the above, with a couple of same sex fantasies, and you get a very confused guy who thinks he is a gay, but isn’t.

Then what, pray tell, would make somebody “truly gay?” So, somebody who likes to have sex with other men, because he enjoys the taboo, is not truly gay, even when he gets thrills that conventional (non-taboo) sex with women couldn’t supply? Not even when he actively seeks out sex with men on a regular basis?

Why does an enjoyment (even if it is a great “turn on”) of a taboo render inauthentic a person’s claim to being gay? What kind of enjoyment would a person have to have in order to be gay?

So, again, what is a “gay person,” anyways? What is the criteria for being gay?

I agree with Warren: It is clear that you see sexual orientation as some essential, metaphysical component of being. That’s why, to you, a man may seek out sex with other men frequently, and not be “truly” gay, whereas another man who is actively having sex with women may still “truly” be gay.

Again, what is the criteria? There is a clear cut criteria for whether someone has blue eyes. We look, and see if they are blue. There is a fairly clear cut criteria for whether or not a person is male or female. What about for being gay?

The difficulty is that ultimately, whatever definition you formulate will ultimately be YOUR definition alone. It is a fact that sexual identity and orientation means different things to different people. So a guy who has sex with men because the taboo of doing something “wrong” turns him on like no other. To him, that is what being gay is about. Consequently, he starts to call himself gay. Would you be so bold as to accuse him of mislabeling?

Ricky

I’m making an assumption that the person is incredibly horney/arroused, does it simply to satisfy sexual release and it is a great turn on because they’re doing something that is perceived as taboo.

Combine all the above, with a couple of same sex fantasies, and you get a very confused guy who thinks he is a gay, but isn’t.

I personally couldn’t imagine a purely heterosexual person choosing to act homosexual under normal circumstances. There just isn’t any reason to (pretend I’m gay to avoid discrimination)?

I’m not sure about this. If a guy who enjoys giving fellating the penis of another man were to say to me: “Ricky, I’m heterosexual,” I’d probably look at him, laugh till I cough up my spleen, and walk off.

Where do you draw the line?

So heterosexuals who enjoy having sex with women but cannot form a relationship with them are not really heterosexual, but secretly homosexual?

Ricky

Ricky