I’m not adding any more blinkin’ letters. I’m reverting to GAY for any and all.

cringe. I just realised that a gathering including exgays would now expand that to GLBTQIBoX

“Both-o-sexual” — priceless. This you must place copyright on.

Only one problem though, it gives me creepy thoughts of a tubby all-rounder from the 1980’s. Ick! Double ick!!

For nathan: I personally don’t have any issue with you deciding, now, or whenever, to pursue only a particular aspect of your sexuality (nor would I if you went the other way). It’s your call; and you are able to change your mind, should you wish. As if I could do anything to stop you anyway 😛

What I do mind is that in limiting your engagement to only one aspect you seem also to expect me to forget about the other side. You are both-o-sexual, and calling yourself only gay or only straight doesn’t alter that.

I, for one, don’t have your sort of “luxury”.

When talking about yourself, please don’t forget others…

You are being quite over-reactive. Just to clarify, I never said you chose to have same sex attractions (which is outside of your control) but you chose to integrate them into a fully formed gay identity. That was your choice, whether you like it or not.

Gay identity – there is a concept, what constitutes a ‘gay identity’? kinda like the mythical ‘gay agenda’ and ‘gay lifestyle’?

I’m making a choice different from yours simply because I CAN–my sexuality is fluid enough. If I couldn’t, I would’ve made a similar choice as yours.

Just because it is fluid, doesn’t mean that you’ll spotaneously lose your same sex attraction – you’ve simply opened another door in your life; thats all you’ve done; you’ve still got the same sex attractions, side by side with attractions to the opposit sex – I wouldn’t use the term bisexual as it seems to indicate perfect 50/50 split between same and opposit sex attraction – so I’ll class you as ‘both-o-sexual’, attraction to both sexes – not necessarily in an even, or perfect-all-the-time percentage, but attraction to both sexes, none the eless.

As for the ‘rejection of your gay indentity’, I don’t see why you *need* to reject it in the first place; why not just admit you have attractions to both sexes, but at this moment in time, you feel more comfortable with females than males? that females are able to meet your intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual needs?

The problem I have is this instant black or white paradigm you seem to have stuck yourself into – for me, I’ve never closed by door to opposit sex attractions, I never know, maybe, one day I just might meet that female who will knock my socks off, but for now, my intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met by members of the same sex.

Its not about whether you’re straight or gay, my issue is this stance where you think there must be a definate black/white, yes/no paradigm, where as I am saying, open yourself up to the two sides – if a great guy or girl comes along, why reject them, simply to suite your particular dogma? it makes no logical sense.

You are being quite over-reactive. Just to clarify, I never said you chose to have same sex attractions (which is outside of your control) but you chose to integrate them into a fully formed gay identity. That was your choice, whether you like it or not.

I’m making a choice different from yours simply because I CAN–my sexuality is fluid enough. If I couldn’t, I would’ve made a similar choice as yours.

As mentioned, you seemed a little over reactionary when you started talking about your gifts, and how good you were as a person.

But you don’t need to do that, I’m sure you are a good person who’s gifted. Keep in mind that my rejection of a gay identity should not affect you in a negative manner, or make you question your worth as a human. Just try to acknowledge that I’m walking another road that works for me, and while I’m walking this road, I’ve experienced all the good things you’ve experienced while walking your road.

Okay?

Nathan

PS: I never bothered to criticize your chosen path in life, but if you are happy then all the better.

I *NEVER* chose this ‘path’, but at the same time, I don’t complain about the cards fait has assigned me; for the perceived downside (from your point of view) of being gay, I can point to plenty of positive things that have occured in my life and the interesting people I have met.

I’ve accepted who I am, don’t feel the inclination to change, because unlike those who seek change, if one needs to get ‘theological’, I don’t feel the desire to throw gods gift back in his/her/its face – god has blessed me with this life, and obviously he has made me gay, along with the many talents I’ve been assigned with.

This self inflicted SM makes me happy and I am living a good life.

If this comes across as surprising to you, that is your own problem.

Nathan

PS: I never bothered to criticize your chosen path in life, but if you are happy then all the better.

So you’d rather be misserable than find possible happiness?

I don’t care if you go one way or another, but if you’re into that sort of self inflicted S&M, then so be it.

I think change is interesting whether it is from K5 to K1 or from K6 to K0. It may mean something different to an essentialist than to a constructionist but it is still change.

Do you consider sexual orientation to be a discrete or continuous variable?