Yes, I believe the feelings of passion are the same. I cannot say whether the emotional attachments are the same or the sexual satisfaction is the same but I am quite certain the passion we feel about anyone or anything, that is the object of our desire, is the same. Sometimes it is inexplicable. An ex-boyfriend comes to mind 🙂

I know it must seem odd to straight people to think of a male who never had any real sexual interest in the opposite sex. I sometimes wonder what it’s like to be heterosexual or even bisexual.

I just tell myself, “It must be like what I feel — only towards the opposite sex.” Is it? It’s one of the reasons I never liked the phrase “sexual preference” to describe gayness. It wasn’t like I enjoyed one more than the other. I only enjoyed one.

Michael,

Did this include kissing?

Michael–This question may be way over the top. No need to answer if you deem it to be. Over coffee this morning, I wondered whether your oral proclivities ever led you to consider oral sexual behaviors with a woman, do you recall any responses to this? My hunch is that by the time girls had ‘things that stuck out’ you had already found your niche.

Not over the top. You can ask me anything, Eddy. And I haven’t had my coffe yet. No, I never considered oral behaviors with females. There was nothing on a woman or a girl that I wanted to explore in that way — whether it “stuck out” or not. I think I may have the same gag response you do…

Carole asked you:

Would it have mattered to you or other little boys if they had had a brother of about the same age, someone to whom you could have compared yourself?

I had one brother, two years older. We shared a room, so I saw him every day. (I also saw my Dad, uncles and counsins and other “family groups” in the showers at camp or at public swimming pool changing rooms.) Lots of opportunities to compare.

In our early teens, my brother, his best friend, Russ, and Russ’s younger borther, Tim (who was my age) would sometimes play strip poker or go skinny dipping. I never felt inadeqaute. I realized it was a process. By observation and deduction i figured that I would “catch up” as I continued through puberty. As adults, we are pretty much the same, although he doesn’t put bottle caps in his mouth.

Eddy, would it have mattered to you or other little boys if they had had a brother of about the same age, someone to whom you could have compared yourself?

No, I don’t think so. I have six brothers…five of us are close together in age. Prior to puberty, we did see each other ‘in the altogether’ but I actually have no memories of seeing any of my brothers after the ‘transformation’. (LOL. This might be a good thing. In a somewhat bizarre TMI type of conversation several weeks ago, I learned from a football buddy of one of my brothers–a guy I once thought was the cat’s meow–that my brother was rather large in that department. This was somewhat ironic since I had always presumed this guy–due to his ultra macho attitude–likely ‘had the goods’.)

(Another intriguing part of the TMI conversation was how freely the guy divulged this info. No embarrassment…no ‘they’ll think I’m gay for saying this’…just a matter of fact revelation to several of us over a beer.)

My only somewhat distinct memory is catching a glimpse of my dad once and ‘realizing’ that mine could never turn out like that. I think that if dad had realized I had seen him, it might have prompted a facts of life talk. I did see my brothers in their underwear a lot. (7 boys split between two bedrooms) Actually, I wonder at times if my hyper-morality and sense of privacy that I alluded to on the other thread came into play here. It really is odd, under the circumstances, that I didn’t see more. I wonder also if my sense of being different–my doubts re my sexuality–caused me to avoid looking–for fear of getting caught and it being interpreted as gay.

Michael–

This question may be way over the top. No need to answer if you deem it to be. Over coffee this morning, I wondered whether your oral proclivities ever led you to consider oral sexual behaviors with a woman, do you recall any responses to this? My hunch is that by the time girls had ‘things that stuck out’ you had already found your niche.(LOL. I’ve got this very weird image going on of women noticing your talents with a bottle cap and wondering just how talented you are.)

For the record, although I can envision some forms of heterosexuality with me as a participant, there is that one thing that still incites a gag response. I find the level of my discomfort ‘telling’ although I’m not sure what it tells.