If not ex-gay, then what?
Former Q-Syndicate owner, David Benkof writes a provocative column in today’s Jerusalem Post – If not ex-gay, then what?
He writes:
For years, I have been a critic of the ‘ex-gay’ movement, particularly its Jewish manifestation. Many advocates of ‘reorientation therapy’ appear to exaggerate ex-gay transformation rates, and so far the non-gay leaders of the Jewish ex-gay movement have been utterly unable to produce success stories who are willing to be interviewed. Alarmingly, Jewish ex-gay organizers sometimes lead Jewish strugglers perilously close to Christian ideas at odds with Judaism.
Well, I have a suggestion. Instead of gay or ex-gay, those of us who have stopped thinking of ourselves primarily as same-sexers can emphasize the fact that, whether we’re celibate or in opposite-sex relationships, we’re ‘Deliberately Living Traditionally.’ The handy acronym Delta corresponds to a Greek letter representing change; it can be a rival to the use of the letter Lambda to represent all things gay. Delta can serve as a new identity and community for people who are making or have made that tough transition. (Perhaps the Hebrew version will be known as ‘Dalets.’)
He does not promote change but a different perspective and set of choices. How does this sound?
this gentleman and what he has proposed sound thoughtful, honest, sincere, and very reasonable – those who are deliberately living traditional lives do so of their own volition and for their own reasons and that, IMHO, should be respected.
Whether part of an organized movement or not, a number of men and women, mostly quietly, have purposefully left same-sex lifestyles, without regret. Many still have same-sex attractions. But they remain, if you will, Deltas.
It is so good to see this acknowledged -
Thanks, Ann!
David,
I am grateful for this article you wrote – for myself and all the other people who delibertly live traditional lives – I have already passed the article to many and will continue to do so.
Shabat Shalom