Many times, in fact MOST of the time, things that are made into a big deal outside of the school building (things like the DOS) are not a big deal at all INSIDE the school building. Believe me when I say that most educators are just trying to get through each day and remain sane. Most of the time, all these “events” that sideline the day are not something that the staff of the school take all that seriously. Most of the time, we just want it to be over so that we can get back to focusing on educating the kids.

It doesn’t make it right for them to blow you off, or to not take you seriously….but….after I while it gets very tiresome when you’re taking call after call about things that don’t make much difference in the grand scheme of our school day. We are much more concerned (at least in the places where I’ve taught) with things like test scores and ratings/rankings than with managing whatever ABC day it might be today.

Yes I have had plenty of conversations in which I felt that the other party did not take me as seriously as I wished that they had. And it’s pretty annoying. I don’t blame you for feeling offended and indignant.

But it seems that you weren’t very accurate or respectful to them when you sent off an email that accused them of calling you names. And now you are in the uncomfortable position of having to retract what you said.

I respect you for clarifying the situation. Many folks would not have bothered to fix their misstatement, feeling that their hurt feeling justified anything they may have said whether or not it was true. Your character is better than that.

I agree that squabling isn’t very nice.

But I also believe that when children tell you that they are being bullied and ask for your help that it certainly isn’t very nice to try and shut them up instead of help them. You, of course, may disagree with me on that.

Along with Warren, I hope that we can all find a way to talk to each other. And my chiding you probably isn’t helping much. But I hope that you can maybe see that those who disagree with you on the issue of homosexuality are not evil. Any I hope that perhaps we can all find a way to live together and respect each other and not try and silence or bully each other.

Yes, it can be very confusing when other Christians don’t agree entirely with everything you have been taught. I’m sure that it seems ever so simple that the Bible agrees with you that being gay is wrong. How could anyone disagree with what is written right there in black and white in plain English, bound in leather with your name stamped on the front?

The problem, of course, is that the Bible wasn’t written in black and white in plain English or bound in leather. And what may seem obvious to us really is nothing more than the accumulation of centuries of other men trying to understand what God is saying and translating what can sometimes be obscure, ambiguous, or downright contradictory wording from lanuages we no longer speak written amidst cultures we no can observe using current vernacular or slang we no longer understand.

And as a result, Christians do not and cannot agree on the nature of the Trinity, the authority of the Pope, the time, method, language, or importance of baptism, the proper day for worship, the position of women in the church, the acceptability of divorce, the baptism of the Holy Ghost, speaking in tongues, the tribulation period, the sinfulness of alcohol consumption, the morality of the death penalty, the response to poverty, or hundreds of other things that are right there in the Bible.

Why would we expect Christians to agree about whether it is sin to find that one is attracted to the same sex or what the moral response to such a discovery might be?

But I do think we Christians can all agree, liberal or conservative, straight or gay, young or old, urban or rural, that lying or deceiving others is not in accordance with God’s will. So while we might disagree about the oppropriate translation of some word that didn’t even exist until Paul made it up, we can agree that Linda Harvey has a moral obligation not to lie about what you wrote to her.

So that’s why we care about the accuracy of the story.

Did the administrators actually laugh at you? Did they break into laughter deriding you? Or did you only mean this in a rhetorical sense, suggesting that the didn’t really take you as seriously as you might like?

Did they actually use language that suggested you were bigoted and closed minded or was that just how you imagine that they perceive you?

This matters. Because Linda Harvey has made accusations against specific individuals. And she based her accusations on your email to her.

So if indeed Pat Williams or Randy Michael called you a narrow minded bigot and laughed at you, that’s a reason to be furious. I would support efforts to have them removed from their position.

But if they did not call you a “narrow-minded bigot” and laugh at you, then we can all agree that it is a lie to say that they did.

And we all agree that lying is a sin.

Scroll down a bit and you will see this which is what I assume was your email to her:

“Kirksville High School in Kirksville, Missouri, IS participating in this Day of Silence and when speaking with both the principal and superintendent, they were very belittling. When asked if the students were allowed to not be in school that day or dissent, they basically laughed. They called me a narrow- minded bigot and refused to give excused absences. Please add this school the list so other parents in my town will know what is going on with their children.”

For clarity, it might be good if she amended that to reflect that your perception was that the admins thought you were narrow minded but they did not say that. Again, I think it might be good to have a conversation with them to get your views across. Having spoken to both of them, I would even be willing to be a party to it so you could feel heard and they could feel the same.

On the matter of a Christian approach, I invite you to consider the Golden Rule Pledge by clicking the link to that website. I am convinced that people cannot be reached with any message if they are afraid of the ones delivering it. If Christians fear that their views are belittled then they get defensive; if glbt people feel afraid of ridicule, then of course they will not consider anything said to them no matter how well intentioned. I am convinced that glbt people are afraid and defensive due to so many efforts to belittle them, bear false witness about their lives and families, etc. I hope you will examine the Golden Rule Pledge and consider a different approach.

You have really oversimplified the lives of gay and ex gay people. You have never experienced a close relationship with someone who is gay and someone who is ex gay. It is obvious from your words.

Are you aware that I am ex gay? And those three things you mention – well – there’s alot more to it than just ignoring feelings. You can’t ignore the loving feelings you have for your wife – can you?

And as for the truth – don’t you think that gay people have heard that old trumpet of your truth is the only truth? I’m sorry – but you sound very inexperienced with gay people, ex gay people, and what they go through.

You can’t just ignore feelings. That’s like asking you to stop loving the people you love.